Innocence is just her disguise (Sadie Bane)

18

I stare up at the ceiling to see if there's anything interesting up there. Nope. Just dust and cobwebs. I'm in a basement. I wonder what it's like to be a spider. If I were a spider I'd be a deadly one so I could kill everyone with my venom. I already do kill everyone with... anything I can find, really.

"I'm bored!" I scream at the ceiling. I guess I'm not really screaming at the ceiling but I'm looking at the ceiling and screaming.

A spider spins down from its web and hangs in front of my face.

"Sup." I say to it and imagine it saying hi back to me. This guy's cool.

"What if I were a goat?! That would be so weird but cool!" I exclaim to the spider. What's happening to me? "I think Carlos is like a goat. Cause goats are loud, annoying, and cute. And Carlos is loud, annoying, and cute." I explain. "Wait what? He's not cute, you didn't hear that from me. Tell him I said that, you're dead." I growl then pause to think.

"But I mean he really is cute. He's hot, and stupid. I miss him. I really, really miss him." I whisper to the spider. "I mean it depends on what he would call us but I guess we're kind of 'friends'." I shrug. "I know I treat him like trash but that's just because that's all I know to do, treat people poorly. It's just natural now." I sigh frustratedly.

"Last time I saw him he was mad at me. I pissed him off with my bitchy attitude and he got mad. He couldn't deal with it anymore. Then I forced him to fight me. He didn't really seem to want to fight me but I eventually got him to punch me. That's all he did though. Then the rival gang came and took me. He tried to help me. I don't know why he kept coming back to me after all the times I've treated him like shit." I frown.

"You know, I feel something really weird. I don't like it. It's such a weird feeling. It's like... I feel sad or something. Like I'm sad about how I treated him. I should've been nicer. After all, he did save me two times. But where is he now? The time I really want him. The time I really need him." I sigh and shake my head.

"All the other times I wanted him to just get the fuck away from me but he kept coming back, and now all I want is to see him but he's not here." My eyes start watering and I bite my bottom lip. "I miss Carlos. Do you know how I feel? It's awful. Where is he? I just want to see him. Will I ever see him again? I just want to hear his annoying but sexy voice. Wait, his voice isn't sexy. I mean sometimes, if he's talking deeper than usual, yeah. But it's not. I just want to see his stupid but hot face again." I feel something warm run down my cheek.

"What's on my face? What's on my cheek?" I ask the spider frantically, raising my eyebrows in shock and confusion.

A tear. I'm crying? Why am I crying? I haven't cried since... i don't eben know. I haven't cried in so long because crying is a weakness and it won't solve my problems. So why cry? But honestly, now that I'm crying again, it feels kind of good.