Sin (BoyxBoy) (Ziam)

Honesty

Day 4 of updates! I am living for this, and I hope you guys are, too.

Warning: This chapter contains mentions of depression, sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, and self-harm. Although these may not be explicitly stated in the chapter, they may still be triggering to some readers, so please stay safe, guys.

Also, next chapter is the big reveal from Princess! Get excited!

Love you all! <3

Chapter 31:

     I could do this.

    That's what I kept repeating to myself as I stood outside of the cafeteria doors. I was trying to give myself a pep talk, trying to remind myself of what Liam said. I had to ignore everyone else. Their opinions didn't matter. All that mattered was making Liam proud and getting my best friend back.

    Act like you don't care.

    I was good at that. I was good at manipulating people into believing that I truly didn't give a shit about their opinions. People saw me as someone cold and hard, but that wasn't who I was inside. The outside seemed far more put together than anything.

     I took a deep breath and walked into the cafeteria. I went through the lunch line, as always, and then I scanned the cafeteria for Liam and Louis, finding them sitting at a completely different table today. I knew that I would have to walk passed my old table to reach them, so I put on a face that I considered to be stoic before taking my first steps in their direction.

    I walked in front of my old table, and I heard Kyle's voice call out. "Hey, Zayn! Where are you going? We saved you a seat," He said, and I glanced over at them, seeing that he was motioning to an empty spot in the middle of the table. The last thing I wanted was to be at the center of all of their attention.

     "I'm sitting somewhere else," I said, and their faces were a mixture of confusion and loss.

    "What do you mean? Where are you sitting?" One of the other guys asked. A few of the others started whispering to each other frantically, and I found it almost comical if it wasn't so sad. Why did they need someone to dictate their lives? Why were they all looking to impress one person?

     I looked them each in the eyes before shrugging. "I'm sitting with my best friend."

    Their mouths hung open in shock, and Kyle scoffed. "What do you mean? You're actually going to sit with Tomlinson and Payne? They're freaks!"

    I snappes my eyes over to him, glaring daggers in his direction, and he shrunk down in his seat, eyes casting down to the table instead of holding my eye contact. The other guys all sat silently, downcasting their eyes as well. For some reason I thought about animals in the wild bowing down in submission to the one stronger than them. The only thing was, I wasn't stronger, they were just clueless.

    "Louis' my best friend, and if he sees something in Liam, then I'm fine with that," I excused. "But if I ever hear you call him a freak again, it'll be the last insult you'll be able to throw," I sneered, and Kyle nodded quickly before mumbling out a small, "sorry, Zayn."

     I took my tray and walked away, looking back over at Louis and Liam's table, and I sighed in annoyance as I saw Drew walking over to them. He had a smirk on his face that I wanted to smack off, but I had to hold it together today. I had to prove to Liam that I could do this, and I had to apologize to Louis for the way I reacted yesterday. He had to know that I was more than okay with his sexuality.

     As I walked closer to the table, I could hear some of what Drew was saying. "Gonna cry, Tomlinson? Finally realized how fucking disgusting you are?" He was walking by as he said it, a swagger in his step as he felt so smug and clever. Louis stood up to snap back at him, and I knew Louis would have a good comeback, and I knew Louis had no problem standing up for himself, but I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to show him that I still had his back.