Sin (BoyxBoy) (Ziam)

Safety

This chapter comes with a very important warning.

⚠WARNING⚠: This chapter contains suicidal thoughts and attempts as well as mentions of sexual abuse and self-harm. If you do not think that you can handle reading about any of these triggering topics, then please, please, please DO NOT READ.

Instead, you can message me if you would like a simple overview of the whole chapter, or you may refer to the chapter titled "Discover" in Princess to get Liam's perspective on it, as his thoughts are less triggering and dark.

Also, please talk to someone if you need help or feel lost and alone because you aren't. I am always here to talk, and there are hotlines like the suicide prevention hotline and the trevor project hotline.

Suicidal Prevention: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Please get help if you need it because you are all lovely human beings, and you don't ever deserve pain. Love you all endlessly. Please take care of yourselves. 💕

Chapter 27:

"How long did it take you to learn?" Liam finally voiced after moments of silence with nothing but the piano to fill the void. Still, sitting in that silence with Liam by my side wasn't bad at all. It was peaceful and relaxing. It felt right. It felt as if I'd been doing it my whole life, just sitting beside him and listening to the words we didn't say, the sounds of our breathing so slight and soft. Eventhough my aunt made me feel comfortable in her house, it wasn't the same way Liam made me feel comfortable. I just couldn't describe it.

"Not long at all, really," I answered as I continued playing the piano. I was playing through a song I wrote for my aunt a few weeks after I told her about my father. It was my way of saying thank you to her. Maybe I hadn't recovered from the damage I'd taken, and I still wasn't, but I did appreciate her. Because of her, I didn't end it all that day. Although she would never know how close I was to calling it quits that day-- I held the pills in my hand-- she still saved me from myself.

It wasn't the first time, and it wasn't the last time. But every single time... my aunt would be right by my side. She was a bigger help than she would ever know. And this song didn't represent me or my mind. It was my aunt's presence. The comfort it gave me and how I managed to cling to the bit of hope she provided.

"My aunt believed I was a natural. I'm not so sure about that," I said with a shrug. I remembered the very first time my aunt introduced me to the piano. I thought the instrument looked absolutely beautiful, and I was afraid to touch it because I didn't want to damage it. I was scared that if I laid my hand upon it, it would instantly break. It was a very irrational fear, but it was true. Thankfully, my aunt continued to encourage me to play and she was patient with me while I learned. If anyone was a natural it was her at teaching. She made it so easy for me.

"I can believe that," Liam mused. I came to the end of the song and stopped playing, looking over at Liam with intrigue as our eyes met. Did he truly think I had natural talent? I felt like I played the same as many other people, but I felt the music so strongly. It was like the notes were a part of me. If I struck a note wrong it was because it felt right to do. There were no mistakes when I played because everything felt so natural. But wasn't it the same for everyone?

"It's not hard once you get used to it," I excused. I wasn't a natural, but the compliment still meant a lot coming from Liam. Maybe I iust made it look like it was easy. I looked back down at the keys, thinking about how easy it was to be like this with Liam. In a sort of peace. How easy it was to allow the music to take the pain away, bleed it out if only for a couple of minutes.