Here I am. Wondering what is next, confused by others around me. I don't quite yet understand what all of this is. Yet here I am thinking to myself what is going on. I don't quite understand how others feel, I don't quite yet understand how I feel. I can easily say I feel this way, but then people around me change and now I feel a different way. When I take time to myself and think about how I feel, I feel selfish. I feel like I shouldn't do that. I feel like it is wrong. All I want is for everyone to be happy, and I could care less how I feel. But now I've begun to slowly care about how I feel, I don't know why.
Our empty conversations are left with a stain. How could someone have such an impact on me, even without me wanting it? I guess you could ask what am I exactly. Maybe that's not the question to be asking, maybe it's what have I gone through to think this way, maybe it's what changed me to be a mystery. Now I just want to crawl back into my shell and start keeping stuff in. I know everyone will disagree with that statement, I don't blame anyone for disagreeing with it.
Our days are numbered. So are our conversations. So why do we let our emotions dictate how we feel about conversations. Our last conversation might be the one we're having right now, will you be satisfied with it? I know I wouldn't be satisfied. I know I wouldn't be satisfied. Since our days are numbered, we need to make them memorable. In order to make them memorable, we need to take risks. I know I haven't been doing much risk-taking lately. I've just been feeling like an asshole after my mind wanders on why this has happened or that has happened. Every day that I've been waking up, I've noticed that I'm starting to sound like someone I once knew. They can't find happiness in themselves. I used to be happy with myself and my flaws. Now I feel myself drifting from what I used to be. If that's the case then I need to catch myself and pull myself back up. I can never be like them. If I ever became them I can never forgive myself.
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Thoughts of the Day
RandomThis book here will be my thoughts either before going to bed, or throughout the day. Feel free to give criticism, and thoughts, all are welcomed.
