Thoughts of the Day

2-3-19 10:42AM

I don't know how to start this. I don't know what to do. Even though people have "warned" me about you, they have told me to stay away from you, because I'll just get hurt. I ignored them, they were some good friends, and I still chose to ignore them. I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. I needed someone to talk to. Here lately it's quite hard to talk to someone when they don't text back. Please don't text me because I want you to, text me because you want to. It's quite hard for me seeing you online 2 hours after I texted you and you saw the text. I've been waiting to see if you would reply later that day, but still nothing. Starting todayI'm not gonna start any conversations with anyone. Nothing comes good with it when it always feels like it's one-sided. If you are busy, then why are you online? I don't like saying these things, because I feel like a dick. I feel like a controlling dick. But I am pointing out the obvious on my end. Maybe I should've never went to church with you. Maybe I should've never met your dads family. It seems like every time I go to church with someone the relationship always starts to fail. Maybe religion isn't for me. Maybe everyone was right throughout the years. I know I always reassure everyone on everything. The only ones I get back are from you, but they're the same sentence. Hearing or reading the same thing over and over gets dull. It gets tiring. Eventually, you'll start to believe it's not true. But maybe that's just me. Maybe it's just my problem and no one else can relate. I can't dwell on these thoughts, so I'm getting them out the only way I know how to. Writing. I just know I won't be texting first and seeing what happens. Even though I won't text first, don't hesitate to ask for help. I'm still here for you.