Today I realized I need to forgive myself. Not only forgive myself but forgive those who have apologized for the wrongs they have done to me and those who haven't apologized. Life is too short to be focused on things that bother you. Life is too short to not be happy.
You may be wondering why I'm typing about self forgiveness, and forgiveness in general. Well I realized I need to forgive myself at the same time I hurt someone else around me. I've been bleeding for years and hurting everyone else around me with my pain that I couldn't forgive myself from. Now this is the last time someone gets hurt because I couldn't sense the pain I was in. I am deeply sorry for the pain I have caused anyone throughout the 17 years of my life. I am especially sorry to someone in particular right now. If I wasn't so selfish and actually took the time to sit down and realize a lot of things sooner this wouldn't of happened. But I can't sit here and beat myself up for this. I need to forgive myself for what I had done in my past, and realize it isn't all my fault. Those failed relationships I blame myself for, isn't my fault. It's not my fault for people reacting a certain way when I have no control over it.
You are special in my life right now. I need you in my life. I can't speak for you, but I know you're hurt, whether it's from me or not. I know am an asshole for saying those things. I regret sending those things. I regret letting my head get the best of me. But like I said previously, I can't let that beat me up. I need to step up to the plate, be a man, and forgive myself and others. I need to be a shoulder for others like I was. I don't know what had gotten into me recently. Recently I have been a big baby crying over the little things. I need to step up a look forward to what can be, and what will be.
It's 9:25 right now. I hope I didn't make you cry for what I had said. I am sorry. I am deeply sorry. You are strong, and I know you're fighting your own battles. You don't need one more burden messing you up in your battles. That's why I'm gonna take charge of my own head. I'm not only doing it for you, I am doing it for me.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
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Thoughts of the Day
RandomThis book here will be my thoughts either before going to bed, or throughout the day. Feel free to give criticism, and thoughts, all are welcomed.
