ALONE/ON HOLD

Part 1: Who am I?

'What is going on with me? Why do I feel like an outcast ..? Am I going mad ....I hate my li-

"Julia!..Dinner's ready " I heard my mom shout from downstairs
I gave a small sigh and ran down stairs to have dinner with my mom because as expected my drunkard  dad wasn't home and would probably come back when everyone else is sleeping.

"Mom" I said quietly while eating
"Yes honey" my mom answered back looking in my eyes as if she knew what I was gonna say
"I'm going to Dr.Phillips tomorrow in the morning " I said thanking God that it was Friday today which meant no school tomorrow.

Dr.Phillips was my therapist and I only went to her when something  serious was bothering me ...and the conversations we had stayed between us as I didn't want my parents to know my insecurities.

"Oh honey...I don't know why you won't just talk to me about what's going on ..I am your mother after all" my mom said in a concerned tone.

I just put on a forced smile and finished my dinner as fast as I could and when I did I left the plate on the table and ran upstairs ignoring my mom's cries ..I slammed my door shut and threw myself on my bed with tears rolling down my cheeks...and only if knew why I was crying. I eventually fell asleep and surprisingly I had a good night's rest for the first time in a while.

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Julia's POV

My alarm woke me up and I hit the button and quickly got up and took a shower...I wore a pair of black jeans and a white crop top with a denim jacket over it ..I didn't bother putting on make-up since it wasn't anything special.

I was in my car driving to Dr.Phillips' house and when I arrived in saw her waiting for me already by her door. I got out of the car and locked it walking towards her with a smile.

"Hey sweetie ...long time no see" she said in the sweetest voice I've ever heard
"Hi Dr." I replied while leaning in to give her a hug.
"Let's go inside ...shall we" she said and I responded with a nod.

She spared no time ...she got me a cup of herbal tea and asked me what was bothering me.
"Well...um I-I just ...um" I said feeling the roll of sweat rolling down my face.'Why am I sweating' I thought to myself

"Julia you know this is a safe place nothing leaves this room c'mon I'm here for you" she said and her soothing words calmed me down
"Dr Phillips would you understand me if I said I don't know who I am" I said looking at her reaction

"No ...but if u explain maybe I will" she answered calmly
" I don't know how to say this but ...when I'm at school and my friends describe me I feel like they are saying it all wrong..everyone thinks I'm normal but I'm not...I feel ...alone"

"What do u mean alone" she said cocking  her head to the side in curiosity
"I mean like...I feel like I'm trapped in my own mind like I'm living a lie ...I feel like my whole life is just a dream and the only question that comes to my mind after all those thoughts is WHO AM I?"
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                          A/N

Hey guys just wanted to make sure that u guys understood the story and about Julia's insecurities and negative emotions. .This is my first time writing a story ...well first time publishing a story hope u guys enjoy: )