Not As Broken As You Think |Raura|

chapter 1: her

ROSS

The light hit my face, as soon as I open the curtains, just like it does everyday, slowly revealing the dark bags under my eyes. I can't ever sleep, not without her. If I do sleep, it's only ever for a few hours each night, playing youtube videos with her voice to help put me to sleep. It's just, ever since Austin and Ally ended, and I confessed to her that I loved her, nothing has been the same.

She has never called me, texted me or tried to see me. My heart feels to numb, and there's so much pain. I cry all the time, thinking of how I messed up with her and how we would've still been friends if I never told her those few words. I know, I'm being such a baby, but I can't help it.

I live with my parents since I can hardly function by myself. My mom helps me a lot though, usually be rubbing my back or messing with my hair a little while I cry in my room. The only reason I've survived all those years without her is because of my family. I have one sister, and three brothers. My brothers' names are Riker, Rocky, and Ryland. My sister's name is Rydel. She's honestly the best and she does everything she can to protect me. Especially when my broken heart is the problem.

Really, I'm only ever so upset when her name comes up. When I'm with my siblings, I don't hurt as much, because I have a distraction. It's when I'm alone and it's quiet that I feel bad memories come back.

I lay back down on my bed as I turn on my phone, logging into my youtube account and scroll through my recommended feed. Most videos are older interviews of her, but I spot a recent interview and click on it, getting ready for my eyes to water. She's sitting on the couch next to Jimmy Fallon, laughing. I crack a small smile just looking at her, but I can almost hear my heart start to break, again, and it hurts.

She starts talking again and says something about her boyfriend. I know a little about him, but not too much since I'm not exactly his biggest fan. His name is Shawn, he's got dirty blonde hair, about 5'10 and he plays professional football for the Philadelphia Eagles.

The more she talks about him, the more tears fall from my eyes. She starts talking about how well their relationship and I could tell that she is happy, without me. The thought of her being happy made me happy, it was just that I always thought she'd be happy with me, not that Shawn guy.

I click the home button on my phone and go to the contacts app. I press on a contact and look at her picture. My eyes slowly drop down to the name the photo is associated with, the same name that causes me so much pain, and the name of the girl I'll always love....

"Laura 💔"

i know it's short. they will get longer.

OH MY GOSHHHH. the album "X" has been out in my area for 44 minutes. i'm in love with it and i think the boys did an amazing job with it.
comment your thoughts of the chapter or album and voteeeeee.
mwahhh