Some days are really rough and I struggle to get through them. 7 years ago, Austin and Ally ended. The last words I said to her, "I love you". Her last words to me, "I hate you". I've been broken-hearted ever since.
I haven't seen her in 7 years.
...
I can't do this anymore. I can't be with a guy I don't feel anything with. I guess I gotta break up with Shawn. I mean I kissed Ross. I kinda liked it. I maybe felt something. At the studio today, it took everything in me to back up, away from Ross. Like it kinda hurt to hurt him.
I call Shawn to ask if he can meet up with me at the cafe across from my apartment. He says yes and ten minutes later I'm seated and the bell is ringing as he steps in. He sees me and walks over.
"Hey baby. How are you?" he asks, being his usual self.
"Actually not so good." I reply, giving him a sad look.
"Awww...why? Do you feel okay?"
Ugh he's making this so hard for me. I don't want to hurt him. He's too caring and he loves me. I just don't feel that way anymore.
"Yeah. I think. I just, I feel..."
"What baby?" his face was growing concerned.
"I think we should break up." There I said it. Oddly, he didn't seem upset.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah. Laura, I do love you. A lot. Lately, I've been thinking that maybe I don't love you in a romantic way but instead, a platonic way." he says, trying to reason with his thoughts.
"Alright, so I guess we're over?"
"Yeah." he says simply.
"Okay, still friends though?" I ask. I'm scared to lose him.
"Always friends" he says and gives me a hug, then moves back a step before turning and leaving the cafe.
Wow, he made that easy, at least easier than I thought it would be. Only if everything was that easy.
I decided for dinner that I'd stop at the local burger shop and grab a cheeseburger and some fries.
By the time I got home it was darker and I hit the hay, not even changing into comfier clothes. ————————
Ringgg. Ringgg.
I open my eyes and stare at my phone sitting on the nightstand. I grab it and slide over to answer the call.
"Hey Laura" said Ross.
"Really?" I groan, my head hitting the pillow.
"What?" he asks.
"It's like 5 am. Why are you calling?"
"Um it's actually 11 am but I was calling cause I wanna hang out." He says with a little question in his voice.
"Oh. Um yeah I guess we can. I have a few things I wanna talk to you about anyways."
"Alright. Should we meet up somewhere?"
"Yeah. How about the studio and after we can grab lunch or something." I tell him, hoping he'll agree.
"Okay sure. I'll see you in 15?"
"Gotcha. See you." Then I hung up.
I decided to get dressed nicely, but not to dressy where he realizes that I'm wearing something kinda fancy.
I put on a light nude colored turtleneck and a black button down skirt. I put on some thigh high boots which made the outfit looks so good.
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I hopped into my car and sped off to the studio.
————————
"Hey wassup?" I say to Ross as I walk over to him leaning in for a hug. He wraps his arms around my back and woah. Sparks flew.
"Not much, how is my girly doing?" He says in a Cali girl voice.
I laugh. "I don't know. I guess I could be better. Something major just happened."
He dropped the girl act. "Are you okay? You can tell me what happened you know."
"So Shawn and I..." I started.
"You guys what?" He asked a little concerned. "You didn't get engaged or something? Right?"
"Umm actually the opposite."
"Oh Laur, I'm sorry." he said, hugging me.
I leaned into his warm embrace. "Yeah and I think I realized I have feeling for someone else."
He let go of me, backing up a little. "Your kidding right? I've been waiting on you for 7 years and you just broke up with your boyfriend. Now you like someone else. Wow, your ridiculous." He says, rolling his eyes and slamming the door on his way out.
No Ross, I don't just like "someone else". I like you.
man love is complicatedddd heyyyy. i'm actually so upset that school i starting soon. i don't think i'm ready....
