red | e.d

twenty

EDEN-JADE THURLOW

I wiped my tears from under my eyes with my sleeve, the feeling of Luke's hand on my lower back guiding me up the path of my own home enough to comfort me. I let out a breath and built up the courage, eventually pushing open my front door.

What I saw made me freeze, Luke standing behind me, telling me that everything was going to be okay. Alex had driven up to the hospital to visit my mom, leaving the two of us to explore the mess that had been left behind.

Glass covered the wooden floor, more beer bottles shattered on the rug, stains of beer trickling down the white walls. My eyes peered across the kitchen and towards the living area, one of my sofas flipped, and the glass coffee table smashed in the centre of the room. Then, what made my heart break into a thousand more tiny pieces, was what was no longer framed against the plain white wall.

I left Luke's side and walked up towards it, bending down and picking up the shattered frame, my finger trailing across it gently. A tear fell from my eye and landed on the small photo, which was the only thing I had left. It was the only picture that was on our walls, the only thing that I had refused to let my mom take down, or even drunkenly break like she had to all of the others.

Now, I had nothing. Not another photo, not another reminder of the dad I once had in my life. He may not have been the best one, but he was my father, good or not. And despite all of what he did, I loved him.

I hugged the broken picture close to my chest and turned back to Luke, who came towards me and looked at it over my shoulder. He gave me a gentle smile and took the frame out of my hands, a shaky breath leaving his lips as he stared down at it, his own eyes glossy. Luke then turned the photo around so that I could see, shaking his head in disbelief.
" I don't care what anyone else thinks about you, or your god damn family. To me, you're still the girl that shoved cake in Jeremy Fields' face because he ruined my birthday party " Luke told me, a small laugh leaving my lips at the memory as he said this, as well as a tear.
" You're my bestfriend, okay? You're the most amazing person in my life, Jade, and I swear to god, none of this shit defines you " Was what he said next, only making me want to hug him again.

I didn't hold back. In fact, I did just as I wanted to, my arms wrapping around his torso, as his went over my shoulders, keeping me close. I shook my head against his chest, sniffling as I looked up at my incredible best friend, whom I loved with all of my heart. He had been by my side through everything I had went through with my family, refusing to leave me as times got even harder.
" I miss him, Luke " I said, thinking of my dad.
Luke was the only person besides Mackenzie, who knew all about my life. He knew everything there was to know. He knew the silly things, the horrible things, even the good things. The horrible things overpowered the good, but I tried to hold onto the very little percentage of joy for my own sanity.
" I know you do " Luke whispered, his chin resting on top of my head, as he rubbed my back with his hand.

RED

I lead Luke into my bedroom and closed my curtains, heading towards my closet. The kind boy turned around as I changed, lifting my shirt over my head and replacing it with no other than Ethan's red hoodie, as well as some pyjama shorts.

I climbed into bed and without a word, without even having to ask, Luke did too. He got under the covers and snuggled up next to me, his arm hooking around my waist, keeping me warm. I looked at my wall as Luke held me, my face resting against the hood of Ethan's soft hoodie, the scent of him making me feel somewhat calm. It was strange how he had the power to make feel so much better, and he wasn't even with me. It was only the scent of his cologne.

" Y-You should probably text Ethan. I'm sure he's worried about you " Luke murmured from behind me, his embrace being extremely comforting.
I looked over my shoulder at him, his face smudged up against the pillow. It wasn't weird for Luke and I to be cuddling together in the way that we were, we'd always been affectionate towards one another. It was all friendly, of course. We both loved that about our friendship, we valued it.
" Yeah, I should " I agreed, leaning over towards my night stand and unplugging my phone.
My phone screen lit up and as if Luke had predicted it, a text from the boy that was on my mind, was displayed on the front of the screen.

i understand you have a lot going on
but please text me when you can.
i'm worried sick about you, Jade.

I sighed and felt a pang in my heart at the thought of how worried he must've been as he walked home, after I told him to leave. So with that, I typed back a reply, hitting send before shutting off my phone and trying to drift off to sleep next to my bestfriend.

i'm okay. i'll message you in the morning, i just
need to sleep everything off right now.

I picked my phone up again once I had sent it, feeling the need to say something else. There was a few words lingering on the tip of my tongue that I didn't quite know how to express, my fingers eventually skimming across the keyboard, telling Ethan part of what I had wanted to say. I didn't tell him what was buried deep down in my heart, though. It was locked away with a key.

thank you for keeping me sane.

I turned my phone off again and sighed, the boy I liked so much at the back of my mind. I couldn't sleep, and so for the whole night, I laid wide awake, the image of my mother in her hospital bed filling my mind, as well as the memory of Ethan walking away, the shine in his eyes resembling nothing but the feeling of pure sadness, maybe even anger. Then, I thought about my brother, and about Luke, who I had brought with me on my constantly depressing journey. Anytime I thought it could be getting better, or that my life could possibly be taking a turn for the best, it all comes rushing back to me, hitting me like a ton of bricks.

Everywhere I went, somebody got hurt. I was a walking grenade. It was almost selfish of me to expect Ethan to want to stay with me or continue whatever we had going on, when everything about my life is as difficult as it is. I come with a lot of baggage and as sad as it sounds, being ditched for it is a regular. Either Ethan was going to hear about my past and accept all that comes with it, or hear about it and walk away for good.

But for his heart's sake, I almost hoped that he'd pick the second option.