red | e.d

eleven

EDEN-JADE THURLOW

I sat on my bed, the sound of the loud music coming from my brother's room enough to anger me. I ignored it, my eyes snapping into the direction of my bedroom window when I heard a small knock placed against the glass.

My house was all one floor, no upstairs. It was your basic two bedroomed house, nothing special, at all. Alex was meant to sleep on the sofa, giving both my mom and I a bedroom each, but she falls asleep on the couch every night with a bottle of beer in hand. He may as well just take the bed.

I stood up, making my way towards the window. I did a double take when I saw Ethan stood underneath it, a smile growing on his face as he held up a box of pizza proudly in his hands. I turned towards my bedroom door quickly, rushing over to lock it before opening the window for him to enter. Thank god my mom was out at some bar.

" What're you doing here, Ethan? " I asked with a small laugh, placing a hand on my hip as I looked at the excitable boy.
He looked around for a place to put down the box of pizza, eventually placing it against my bed. It smelled delicious, my tummy rumbling just by the scent. However, Ethan didn't answer my question, instead he sat down on my bed, grabbing a slice.
" You do realise that if my brother saw you, he'd probably beat your ass and kick you out " I told him, instantly grabbing his attention.
Ethan nearly choked on his pizza, worry now as evident as ever across his pretty face.
" Y-You have a brother? " He stuttered, shocked.

I laughed a little at this, sitting down right beside him, my leg squished against his own. I took a slice of the pizza, taking a bite out of the delicious food.
" Yep. A scary one, too " I added, his nerves growing with each passing second.
" Is he home? " He asked, his eyebrow raising.
I'd scared the poor boy to death, but it was the truth. Alex was one of those extremely overprotective brothers. He always had been.
I nodded, to answer Ethan's question. That was when his eyes widened, he was petrified.

" Don't be a pussy, I won't let him hurt you " I commented, nudging his side.
Ethan chuckled at this, shaking his head at my words. I thanked him for the pizza, wiping the crumbs off of my lap as I stood up.

I headed straight for my phone, swiping through my spotify playlists. I clicked on one, the song exchange beginning to play. It instantly connected to my speaker, the music sounding that little bit louder.

I sat back against my bed, looking at the boy who was now sitting cross legged opposite me. He suddenly frowned, a groan leaving his lips as he practically collapsed next to me on my bed, laying on his back.
" Grayson's throwing some stupid party on Friday night, and everyone is invited. I'm just going to lock myself in my room all night " He told me, my eyebrow raising at this.
I laughed, shaking my head at the now moody boy. I didn't blame him, I'd only spoken to his brother on a couple of occasions, but he angered the life out of me already. I didn't quite understand how Ethan had managed this long with him.
" C-Can we just hang out here or something? I don't want to watch my house get trashed " He complained, his head turning into my direction.

Ethan's eyes pleaded with me, never leaving my own. Instead of nodding, I smirked, repositioning myself so that I was laying on my stomach. My face was mere inches from his, my chin resting in the palm of my hand. I could tell that Ethan was intrigued now, his right eyebrow raising upwards.
" No, we can't " I told him, his smile dropping.
Before Ethan could interrupt, I spoke again, my smirk growing, along with my mischievousness.
" Because I'm coming to that damn party " I announced, the boy staring at me so intensely.
Ethan laughed gently at this, his hand reaching up to run through his brown locks.
" And so are you " I added, the boy's eyes snapping back to meet with my own.

I shuffled a little closer to him, so close that I could probably count the freckles on his cheeks. I hadn't even noticed them before now, but they were cute.
" Oh, am I? " Ethan teased, his dimples on show as he gave me a cheeky grin.
I nodded, humming as a yes. When I did this Ethan smiled, an adorable smile that made my eyes light up like a Christmas tree. He had been the key to my happiness recently, and I had no clue how he did it.

I watched the boy in awe, his hazel eyes staring longingly into my own. My eyebrow perked upwards, waiting for him to give in. There was no way he was getting away with it. We were going to that damn party.

Ethan eventually sighed, making a smirk appear on my lips. I knew I could persuade him.
" Fine. But only... " He began, trying to think of a good enough reward.
I groaned, falling back against my bed as he did this. It was almost as if a lightbulb had appeared on top of his head, a shy smirk forming on his pretty face.
" O-Only if you kiss me "

When Ethan said this I laughed, shaking my head at the adorable boy in front of me. That was when he shuffled a little closer to me, looking at me with a cute grin.
" What? I think that's- " Before Ethan could even continue, I draped my arms over his shoulders, pulling him closer to me.
Ethan was practically laying on me now, the two of us giggling like excited children. I didn't know what it was about Ethan, but his happy and positive energy was something you couldn't ignore. It transferred to me so easily. When he wasn't around me, it made me wonder how I even smiled before I had met him.

" Shut up " I laughed, my words quiet as I leant towards him, his eyes fluttering shut.
The tension between us was as clear as day, especially when I let my hand reach up to his jawline, and my other to the back of his neck.
When we were close enough for me to feel his hot breath against my skin, so close that our lips were barely touching, I decided to play hard to get. Well, I decided to act like a child. Playing hard to get with Ethan would never work, he's too sweet.

I suddenly curved my face to the side, my tongue gliding up his cheek. The boy jumped backwards instantly, rubbing his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, in disgust at how I had just licked him.
" Ew! " He whined like a baby, staring at me as I was a laughing mess.
I knew he was trying not to crack a smile, but when he did it was unstoppable, so bright and filled with life. He shook his head in amusement at my immaturity and sat back down at my side, the bed dipping slightly. However, when his smile slowly dropped from his face, I grew anxious.

As soon as his cheeriness dissipated mine did too, my mind beginning to race with thoughts. Had I done something wrong? Was me licking his face a step too far? I mean, it's not as gross as shoving a tongue down someone's throat, and we do that willingly. I was such an over thinker.

" W-What are we, Jade? " He asked me, catching me off guard completely.
I didn't know how to respond. I didn't have the answer. I'd never been in a real relationship. Of course I'd wanted to, but I had no clue how they went. Besides, letting people into my life in such a way was something extremely difficult for me. From my alcoholic mom, overprotective brother, dead dad and anger issues, a relationship with the sweetest,
most innocent, loving boy, sounded toxic. Ethan deserved so much better than a fucked up girl like me. He really did.
" Uh, I don't know. Why? " I said back, unable to look him in the eyes.
Did he want to be together? Or was he enjoying the friends of benefits type of thing we had going right now? We hadn't even discussed it, but we'd kissed a few times, so the attraction was obviously there.

Talking about feelings scared me. So much to the point that I'd never really done it. Did I like Ethan? I mean, as a friend, of course. As a best friend, definitely. I never thought I'd have another best friend, but I did now, for sure. But as more than best friends? I didn't know. He made me so happy, I could almost see it happening, but when I could see it happening, I also see myself shutting it out. I hadn't liked a boy since the time that Mackenzie fucked my crush, and that was a while ago. Still, the trust was gone. For someone who's never really experienced a lot of love to come face to face with love itself, is intimidating.

It's almost like my fear of the ocean. When I was younger, my brother tried to force me to swim with him. I went out into the crystal blue water, shivered at the cold, then suddenly stopped. I could no longer feel the bottom, I was floating. I didn't like to go past that point of not feeling the sand beneath my feet.

That's exactly how feelings are, to me. When shit gets too deep, I don't go any further. I rewind, and then I hide.