Rocking a Doctor's Heart

Chapter 26

I don't deserve him. I know that even before. 

Maybe, all along, I don't deserve anybody. I wasn't a good daughter. And I wasn't the best girl for the likes of Damien. I should have known. Dapat hindi ko kinalimutan. That our supposed engagement started as business in the first place. 

In the end, I realized, business is what matters most to people I know, including my own parents.

Mapait akong ngumiti nang maisip si Mommy. She's the trigger of all the things that happened to me. Una, ang pagiging doktor ni Dame kay Dad and followed by her initiation of my engagement. Sa huli, siya rin ang nagtulak sa aking umalis ng bansa.

I am past hating her. I am still the Rock people know as seize-the-day kind of girl and hating anybody is a waste of time and energy. Any intense emotions, for that matter, should not have a place in me. I even ended what's between me and Dame because it is slowly turning me into a person that I don't want. 

That's why, as I have said, nothing really bothers me anymore now.

It's just that, that stupid part of me does not agree.

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

"You deserve it!"

"Surely, your hair will get the spotlight as much as your face and body!"

"Darling, Jade, you will be a breakthrough in that show!" masayang sabi ng isa sa mga bosses ng Elite. 

Getting a slot in that particular show is nothing new to Elite talents but they got super hyped for my success.  Maybe because I wasn't super tall like the other models who got in but got that 'woah' factor. I received the same compliments while I was at the casting.

I got a spot in the famous lingerie brand's yearly show. Hindi ako ganoon ka pursigido pero sinubukan ko pa rin dahil sa advice ng aking handler. 

Being one of the agency's top model, naniniwala rin akong kaya kong subukan ang ganitong klase ng show. This will be my first ever lingerie runway stint. Most of my stints were fashion shows of different clothes except bikinis. I did not sign any contract of those kinds before but I had a photoshoot wearing a bikini which was a group picture for a front cover of a famous women's magazine.  Itong sa lingerie brand lang talaga ang sinubukan ko because I think it's the right timing. I will be graduating soon!

"What's your plan?" Reva asked as we are having coffee in her apartment. 

Nagkibit ako ng balikat bago sumimsim sa aking tasa. Ano nga ba ang plano ko?

Ilang buwan na lang at matatanggap ko na ang diploma ko. I am NOT torn between going home or settling here in New York kung saan ako may trabaho at sariling negosyo. I have long accepted that my degree is of no use anymore in the Philippines. Kung ego ba ang nasaktan sa akin o ang puso ko ay hindi ko na sigurado. Pwede ring pareho.

I stopped reading news from the Philippines for two years already. Hindi ko na napigilang hindi buksan iyong kay Sergio dahil may pakiramdam akong may kinalaman iyon sa biglaang pagtawag ni Mommy sa akin, after all the years. 

After seeing Tita Ely months back, ngayon, ito naman. I wonder if she knew her son went here and was with me even for a short period of time almost three years ago. Well, it does not matter anymore because he has a new fiance-for-business. 

I heaved a deep sigh at the thought.

"Have you signed it?" Rev asked referring to the lingerie stint. We also have a plan in putting up a physical store kaya siguro niya tinatanong. The lingerie show will take so much of my time.