Tides Change

Hi Kids! Let's Talk About Safe Sex

Before I upload the next chapter, let's talk about safe sex because of what was implied in the last chapter (don't worry I won't go into detail of sex in any of these chapters!)

We've already talked about abusive relationships, so let's talk about safe sex.

Consent is important.

There is implied consent, and there is verbal consent.
In the process of sex-- implied consent is not a golden standard. Always ask, but there are instances in where asking isn't always the first thing on your mind and that can happen from time to time.
It's always better to ask.

Don't proceed if they say maybe or no.

If they say yes, proceed.

What is implied consent?

Let's use making out as an example!

If you and a partner are sitting next to each other, and make eye contact with each other, then both lean in, or they lean in and meet you, or you lean in and meet them, congrats! You've had implied consent to kiss!

Sex can also be a form of implied consent, both of you make far advances on each other, and both have already talked about sex previously together.
(always use protection. If you or your partner is putting on a condom and if they/ you decide they/you are not ready, say no.)

However, it's always safer to ask!

Tumblr can be wrong, as can FANFICS.

A lot of the time tumblr likes to say "well it was rape because I never completely consented and they just kept going"

Listen kids, that's not exactly how it works.
As stated previous, implied consent is something.
If you and a partner have sex and neither of you verbally consent, neither of you were raped.

What if I was too scared to say no?

If you were too scared to say no, I'm really sorry.
The problem is that, if you were clearly uncomfortable and began pushing them away and tried to change the topic, it is completely rape.

However if they did not know at all that you weren't consenting, then they didn't... Know.

Which is why verbal consent is important!
If it is safe to talk to them about what happened, talk to them. (@ second situation), if it's not, bring somebody who you're close to who can protect you so you can speak with them about it.

DM me for more questions.

STDS

Getting tested and making sure your partner is tested is incredibly important if you decide not to use a condom.

Please, even so, use a condom.

"I don't like the way it feels"

You or your partner can still get impregnated.

"my parter or myself is on the pill. Neither of us have an STD!"

Proceed with caution, there are still risks. Look into them before you have sex, and decide if you both think it's a safe enough risk!

I don't have an STD, she's not on the pill, so can I just pull out?

No.
Pulling out is not effective, especially if it's your first time.
Precum and other factors are way to risky.

If your partner refuses to have sex with you because you won't go in raw when she's not on the pill, or they refuse to have sex with you because they don't "like the feeling of condoms"
And then make you feel guilty.

Always remember it's better than having an STD or being pregnant.

And it's also a form of manipulation that falls into abuse.

Well they asked me too a lot and I finally gave into having (any form) of sex with them even though I wasn't feeling it...

That's incredibly unhealthy, and I'm, so sorry.
Please distance yourself from them and break up with them. Or talk to them and tell them why it's unhealthy.

There's so much more, but please stay safe if you choose to have sex kids!

Sincerely~
Your friendly neighborhood jaelynn man.