Poetic Problem Book I

Anxiety Attack

A/N: I think the title explains itself when I say Trigger Warning! Because this script may be a bit much for those of a young age. This part of this book can be skipped if you find it to much for you. but if you do wish to read it just know it contains topics of self harm, depression, angst, loss of hope, etc.

So Yea You've Been Warned ^w^

Have Fun

Anxiety Attack:

I felt I was Going to vomit.

This constant feeling of dread- The screaming- The panic.

I was in over my head-

Everything was going fuzzy and I tried remembering what I was told to do if this ever happened again

"In for 4-" 

"And out for...4? 6?"

I began kicking and swinging around or maybe I wasn't moving at all?

Or was I walking, maybe I ran into a wall.

At least I didn't leave my room- I just stayed put there maybe on my bed

And no one's home. Is that good? isn't that bad?

In a situation like this you'd probably say you'd want to be alone...

You'd swat people away... tell them you don't need their help

When secretly you're begging them to come over- hug you- run their hand through your hair as you cry in their shoulder and hug back...

You're engulfed in their warmth and they say "everything will be okay"

But that never happens with me- and it normally doesn't happen to anyone.

The next thing I knew- from what I could see from the blur in my eyes because of tears- small rips appeared on my forearm.

"I did it again"

with blinks lasting longer.

arms and thighs stinging more and more.

screams for help going unheard.

I snapped, and the negativity only leveled up.

My screams of self hate became curses.

I was no longer cutting.

I did something else.

My arm was numb....

....something wet ran down it at dripped on my leg...

...my grip wasn't very tight on the knife...but I didn't feel it drop to the ground...

...I felt weak...

But I opened my eyes...

"What A sight..."

I chuckled and saw my creation...

the knife jabbed through my arm.

The tip slightly peaking out through the other side.

I surprisingly smiled as my heart beat sped up and a mixture of saliva and vomit rose up tickling within my throat, begging to escape.

My eye lids lowered and my cries stopped

"This Attack went to far..."

I lied down not removing the weapon

I wish it was in my heart instead of my arm....

And That Was My Last Thought...

Before I finally fell asleep

feeling relaxed for the first time in a while

"Goodbye..."