Poetic Problem Book I

now that you're dead and I'm alone

Monster-

Monster

did you know they call me a Monster?

they love to torment me

Spill boiled water on me

put up a stupid sign saying "Don't Feed"

You don't make it any better

you broke after mom's death and served her for dinner

when I awoke with blood stained teeth you came out a winner

I am the creation of a phycotic sinner

you sure have a lot of issues with being on top

ignoring my cries, banging my head on the wall asked you to stop

people at school sent you calls,

found bruises on my body and you said nothing at all.

sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night.

Devilish grin as you win every fight.

I am broken because of you,

suicide because I had nothing to lose.

Failing 1-2-3- times

the monster didn't die

all I could do was smile to my friend and lie-

little did they know I was broken inside.

Now after many arguments I realize the truth

I was nothing but an experiment to you.

walking out as I'm left to rot,

Why couldn't you just let my heart stop.

I have so much I want to say to you now

It's the easiest way sense you're 6 feet down.

I never wanted to fight but you wanted this,

my misery as I see you labeled dead.

Because of your impact I can't fit in with life.

may have been a car to get you- any longer it would have been my knife

Luckily I'm your daughter,

So of course I'm left to wonder

if you really loved me and wanted to be my father.

Because I blamed you for my failors and the death of my mother.

But guess what?

In the end I thought I could be more than your mut.

I forgive you for everything even making me a slut.

Is it wrong for someone to love their dad?

I forgive you but I can't forget everything that went bad.

if we could go back- to what we had- before mom died- before the lab

I'd tell you how much I love you
I know I never said it before

I want to go back and love you more.

July 3, 2019

-Karina Sabo