After four years on a dramatic rollercoaster of emotions, it looked like Camila and Lauren were finally done for good, especially with Camila ready to leave Fifth Harmony. However, that didn't mean that the drama ended there, or that 'Camren' did ei...
It was another one of those nights; the nights where I couldn't stop my restless mind from racing. However, there was something different about it this time. Actually, I knew exactly what was making this experience so different from all of the other times.
I was drunk. Yes, I, Camila Cabello, the girl who hadn't even had a drop of alcohol on her 21st birthday, was wine drunk, alone, in a hotel room in New York City. I had a day off from my tour, my mother was out to dinner with a friend, and I had been way too deep in my feels all day.
Shawn didn't help the situation when he jokingly sent me a "Happy 2 months birthday" text. All that did was make me think about how I'd spent my 21st and how a part of me wanted to let loose, just for once.
So, I did. I ordered some wine from room service and started to drown myself in the dark liquid while listening to music. At first, it actually felt really nice; but, as usual, social media started to call my attention.
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For the most part, the tweets I stumbled upon were super nice and supportive. God, I loved my fans so much. I swear that they were the main reason I was surviving any of this. The thing was, even they didn't know the whole truth.
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They sat there saying that I looked happier than ever, that I was in such a good place, which, for the most part, was entirely true. This tour had been a dream come true, plus the fact that I was about to go on tour with Taylor was incredible, too. I was really happy.
Yet, they didn't know everything else that went on behind the scenes. Even those who did suspect that Matthew was PR had no idea how miserable I really was in the love department. It wasn't the fake relationship that bummed me out, it was the lack of a real one; a real one that I had had before and let slip through my fingers time and time again.