Sander Sides Angsty Oneshots

In my blood

/Trigger warning/ depression, cutting, insecurity, overdose, suicide

Romans POV
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood

I'm standing in the bathroom, looking at my face in the mirror. I look like death itself. 'why even try anymore?'

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly

I need... Something. A drink, a razor, something! I open the drawer to find a razor, sliding to the floor I pulling up my sleeve.

Just have a drink and you'll feel better
Just take him home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?

My mind runs with my past, going to bars, drinking and flirting, but why? It just makes for worst days and awkward texts.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough

I need something more. Tossing the razor to the side, blood running down my arms as I go through the drawer, ignoring the stinging.

Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood

I find it, old meds. A sweet, sweet savior. I grab a handful, using some tap water to take them all at once.

I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh

My phone buzzed. It's Virgil. I should tell him- no, he'll hate me. Best to ignore it, right? Yeah... Grabbing more pills I take another handful.

Is there somebody who could help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough

I can feel my stomach cramping, pain spreading through my abdomen. I cradle my stomach, blood staining my shirt.

Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood

Someone, Patton? Is knocking- no banging on the door, trying to get in. "Roman! What's going on!!"
It's now or never I think as I reach for the razor thrown, forgotten. I make that final, deep cut, spending this process up.

I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now

My vision faded to black as the banging ended, someone was running toward me...

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't

I hear a slow, steady beeping, it's strangely calming.

It isn't in my blood

There are people near. They're talking about...something.

It isn't in my blood

I feel something on my arms... Some kind of bandage or something. There's some kind of IV too, something like that.

It isn't in my blood

Come on Roman, open your eyes, come on.

I need somebody now

It's blindingly white.

It isn't in my blood

As I focus on what's happening, I feel arms around me.

I need somebody now

"Please Don't leave"
Virgil.

It isn't in my blood

"I can't make any promises"