LOVING FIERCELY

18

Felicia's POV

Everyone has that moment in the past that changed them. Those moments ring a bell so loud that when recalled it bring pools of emotion that weigh you down. Some of course like to share those stories while others prefer them buried in the casket they were left in. The violent man that trashed me a few minutes ago turned into a whelp. His eyes had regret and resent submerged in them. His voice geared turmoil and disagreement. His gesture were subtly biased. Fear was still somewhere in me reminding not to let my guard down. I wanted to understand him or rather sympathize with him but we humans are not assembled that way. We hate and curse the makers of our affliction -- we love the bloomers of happiness in our busy bland lives. We are not built to understand eachother --- we are decently selfish. My hands were still tied back, my lips sealed with multiple dork tapes. Finally, Ashton turned the power back on. I saw some drops of blood on the wooden floor notifying I was bleeding somewhere.

"I went missing for few months back in middle school. My mother and her so called boyfriend abandoned my father and I. You know the funny thing......... everyone wants recognition. I wanted to be recognised by my mom, trust me I studied hard..... fucking hard. My mother on the other hand wanted recognition from my father who was so busy with work. My mother's boyfriend wanted recognition....he wanted a lonely woman who would give him her all. I....originally wanted to own a little business and live an unbothered life. But damnit life can fuck with you in so many turns that you become so flabbergasted yourself", Ashton grunted.

"Unbothered life....isn't that we all want ?"

My eyes slowly became tired of watching Ashton who seemed to have quieted down on the couch.

"I finally moved in with my mom...... that was when I noticed things were rough. father had just past away and pretty much had some money to his name. After claiming all if it..... I guess the young bastard wanted some of it. I would come home to my mom's drunken ass..... and her boyfriend out partying. Little me  thought she deserved it. The nights of them arguing my head of..... till he  made the decision to leave her young bastard for richer dude.....how pleasant is that??" Ashton asked turning to me. I avoided his gaze feebly.

"You should say something Felicia..... isn't that the same situation with your son?"  He put the cigarette stick in this mouth lighting it with the lighter in his hands.

Ashton puffed out the smoke from his mouth, making a smoke ring. He gave a little smile watching the smoke dissipate in the air. He made contact with me again.
"It's not your fault Felicia..... don't hate me so much".
Standing up, he gradually paced up and down the room still smoking.

"I guess we all came and dissipate like this smoke, like Anna",  he paused for a  second. "and like you".

The smoke made me drowsy. Observing Ashton's swift mood change, I began wondering if he had some mental illness no one was aware of. His stride were no longer forced and irated but instead softer. His pupils also looked different. It was the first time I witnessed this other side of Ashton.

"I should complete the story", he cleared his throat before he continued. "Every morning for me became a dose of endless abuse..... I always tried to rebel, but then I was threatened that my poor  mother would be in danger if i tried any shit....i mean it meant no calling the cops or avoiding the tantrum punches thrown at me.....just me sitting in the corner and allowing some rude jerk hit me. Ahh.. and for the old witch i beared the pain for...never got back to me." He took another drag of the cigarette. Taking his time, he exhaled the smoke.

His tone slightly became mellow, "I remember calling her..... I left numerous...countless.....freaking voice mails. No call back, no checking me..... I was absent from school but she didn't even give a shit. You know what.... one day I took a leap of fate....and I killed the motherfucker and buried his lifeless body in gasoline...burning him and the whole house."

It all started making sense to me why Ashton was the way he was towards women especially older women. Recalling the first time i met him --- his decision to become a cop became clearer to me.

"If you can't change the Law, play by the Law", Ashton quoted satisfyingly.

He walked up close to me, untying the ropes around my legs, he removed the duct tape.

"I'm a jerk Felicia.. it ain't your fault".

Tanney's POV

"Tan...i would be leaving now", Giana said getting into her car.

"Where you able to reach Mom??"  I asked leaning towards the driver's window of the silver BMW.

"No...she hasn't returned my message. Wait..."
Giana pulled out her cellphone. Punching in her password, she checked for a reply from Mom.

"Here". She gave the cellphone to read the reply myself.

I don't think I would make it to the game Gi...I took some sleeping pills and lost track of time.--- Felicia.

"Hmmmm....at least she got some rest".
I returned the cellphone Giana, who blew kisses at me before driving away.

I glanced down sadly at the sweaty jersey before making my way to the school gym to take a shower.
I wanted to understand what mom has been up to lately but --

Maybe I am just being self centered ?

I walked past the other team members who cheered happily at our victory tonight. Pulling out my cellphone, I dialled Mom's phone number. The call went right into the answering machine and apparently her voicemail box is full.

Instead I dialled Dad to check on him.
Picking up after the fourth ring.
"Hey....how did the football game go ?"

"We won by a few points".

"You don't sound good....are you hurt somewhere?"

I paused for a while before replying.
"Dad...have you kept in touch with mom lately?"

I heard the clear sigh from the other end.

"Not before my trip....she hasn't been taking my calls."

"I think I would want to move back in with her".

"Yeah..i thought about that.. I would be back tomorrow night. How about we have dinner with her and I spend a night with you guys".

Dad's voice was no different from mine. We all were playing the game of hiding emotions. I ended the call feeling a little better with something to anticipate.

Thank y'all for reading ❤❤❤❤❤