LOVING FIERCELY

23

Tanney's POV

"Mom close the curtain its too bright ?" I grimaced at the very bright light coming from the window I presumed. I stirred around covering my face with the blanket. "C'mon mom.. who wakes up early during the weekends??"

"Mom??"

"Mom?????"

There was pitch darkness when I finally removed the sheet covering my bare skin. I glanced around trying to know where I was and why it was so dark. A little rays of light peeped in from the tiny opening in the door way. I stood, carefully, I made my way to the light. My naked feet sank into some water like liquid -- it was warm, the consistency was thicker than water. I held my balance preventing myself from falling. Gradually, I put one foot in front of the other tracking the fluid with me. I gave out a sigh of relieve when I came closer to the door. Twisting the door knob, I opened the door.

WWWHOOOSSSSHHHHH !!

Greeted by a strong breeze, dust particles made contact with my eyes. Tightly shutting my eyes, I rubbed them.

"Really??" I yelled pissed.

Slowly, the wind settled with some gun sound in the background. I slightly opened my irritated eyes. As if I was dreaming the whole building structure changed. I witnessed my room extended, the building grew taller. I looked around, my room went from a being a bedroom to an elevator.

"Okay you've got to be kidding.....seriously".

I was totally not buying what was going on. I went from a young man peacefully sleeping in his bedroom to some kid stuck in an elevator in his pajama. Suddenly the elevator started counting floors. The numbers depicted were red. Instinctively, I got a glimpse of my feet. Noticing the bloody red stains around them, I raised my right foot, checking its sole.

"How-"

Immediately the elevator door opened but instead of the front doors automatically sliding open, the solid metal back wall of the elevator split open.

"What the hell is really going on??"

I was suddenly standing in a skyrise in a weird elevator looking at the sunset. The sun leisurely dropped, disappearing into the clouds.

The gun sound came again this time very loud. I looked down at the streets trying to identify where is was coming from. A man in some authority uniform shot a woman repeatedly. I realized that people gather around watching the woman get killed. I narrowed my eyes, going down on my knees I bent down to get a better look at the woman's face. Unexpectedly, the elevator pulled close rapidly almost chopping my head off .

__________Three months later__________

Isn't it funny how it rains during funerals? It seems like the earth is crying with you, the raindrops hitting your face, the salty tears dropping down unfailingly. The only difference is that it can stop raining, at any point, the sun would shine its bright rays, the water would dry up but my eyes would continue to make pool of tears. My heart would have a very vulnerable part that would forever remain that way -- unchangeable. I can't even remember the last time I bought my mother flowers, a year ago -- two ?? I laid the bouquet of blue roses before mother's picture. A blue rose, she was not dead, The Felicia Simmons I know was not dead. The fact that mother's body still has not been found after three months was a definite fact she was still alive. I felt concerned yet curious as to where she might be. We had waited and searched and is still searching for her body. Sending out private search teams after the cops abandoned the case, Having helicopters hover around the creek every week had become a routine. My family and I have been reluctant in giving mother a proper memorial service -- I hoped, Father searched, grandma prayed. Even if everyone gave up, i would continue to search for my mother, be it her body I find, her skeleton or her alive, I would be grateful in any case. I missed her nagging. I missed her smile. I missed the meals she cooked. I missed worrying about her.

The rain outside began pouring down hard. I stepped back focusing on her picture. Her pleasant smile still had its effect even when she was not present.

"Mom where are you??.....I would come with you...where are you???" I telepathically tried to reach out to her where ever she was. Our society believes that a bond between a mother and child is inseparable, Its okay to take advantage of that belief right now, right??

I was silly to act matured in front of her. I was stupid to scold her. I was foolish to not pay attention to her.

"Tanney", Father called.

I turned around to find my father in a black suit. His white shirt was unbuttoned. He looked haggard - the eye bags under his eyes pulled more weight as they got dark. Father abandoned his gorgeous long blond hair for a grim cut. He wrapped his hands around me hugging me. He slightly tapped my back in a consoling manner.

"I would find your mother son.....I would do whatever it takes".

He placed his two hands on my shoulder. For the first time I saw my cheerful father, a man who always wore a smile, I saw him break down in front of me. I trembled, now I wanted to cry too. I wanted to let it go but this was not the end.

"You should never be sorry dad", I gave him a small smile. "Whereever mom is right now, she would not want to see us cry". I reached forward and wiped his tears with my thumb.

"I can't forgive myself Tanney....I sat back and let this all happen. There were clues.....they were there....She was telling us something but we never understood".

Dad was completely right, I too felt that way. But I didn't want to waste time on what had already happened.

"You need to rest Dad??"

"No...the search team would be going back out today to search the creek again....I gonna go with them".

I sighed.

Dad pulled out a white folded sheet of paper from his pocket. He hesitated a little, glancing sadly at it, he calmly grabbed my hand leaving the paper on my palm.

"I didn't want to give you this until I was sure.....god damnit.. I am still not sure, is this the right time?.....Read when you want to son".

With that father left me standing their with mom's emotion convey in a white little paper.

Thank you for reading. <3 <3 <3