LOVING FIERCELY

16

I stared at the ID photo of a young woman who was in late thirties. Her hazel brown eyes seemed so focus, her long auburn hair tied into a pony tail.

"Anna Reid" , I repeated the name on the laptop screen.

"Felicia Simmons ...am I right ?" A cheerful feminine voice said.
"Anna ??" I replied hesitantly. She ditched her luscious auburn hair for a short blonde bob. Her smile was attractive and jolly. Her aura was both welcoming and pleasant.
"We are like the only ones here", she giggled taking a seat opposite me. She sipped the drink in her hand, placing her hand bag beside her.
I looked around the small park before giving her a little smile, putting my laptop away.

"I know right.....i wanted to speak to you first before showing you the basement."

I approached Anna in pretense of having to remodel my basement, and things fell on good as she turned out to an interior designer.
"No problem..its nice out here".
She pulled out her iPad, turning it on.
"So what do you plan to do with it ?" she asked moving right into business.
"Are you close to Ashton Cooper ??" I asked.
After doing some digging on Ashton, I found out about he was once married to Anna Ried. Although, it was not stated clearly the reason for their divorce, it seems like Anna went through something similar.

Anna's eyes became wary, her cheerful smile was lost to the gloomy expression on her face. I noticed my stomach churn when she glared at me.
"You are one of them....ain't you", Anna said leaning backwards.
"One of them ???"
"You approached me just for Ashton not for business", she accused.
I felt apologetic and impenitent at the same time.
" I have nothing to say to you about Ashton". Anna stood up, picking you her handbag and iPad vigorously.
"Wait... please...Anna". Holding her hand, I looked her in the eye, praying she reach out and understand my cry for help.
"Please hear me out", I pleaded. Hesitantly, she sat down unwillingly.
"I do need help with my basement..", I paused, removing the scarf draped around my neck. Anna's eyes inspected the bruises around my neck.  Her face held no expression as she sighed.
"I was almost beaten to death Anna..... I don't.. I don't". The tears in my eyes betrayed me escaping without consent.
"He did that to you??"
I nodded wiping my eyes the scarf on the table.
"Death threats, uneasiness, blood, rage, anger....... physical abuse.......i never thought in a million years i would witness such in my adulthood. I feel robbed....but...but suicide is not an option".
At the mention of suicide, Anna flinched.
"Are you married to him??" She asked.
I shook my head.
"You are not the first one Felicia..... I don't want to feel obligated. I don't want to revisit my painful past. I am already traumatised as it is..... others could not handle it either...they took their live." She spoke slowly keeping her lips from trembling. "I felt even worst... I could not do nothing. I don't want to feel weak or helpless anymore....i just don't want to be involved."

This was already my life, filled of 'i don'ts'. It has always been that way, fugitive happiness and centuries of misery. As a child, a teenager and now a grown woman, I am still foreign to the land of happily ever after. The truth was I didn't ask for much, just a simple life. I was already financially stable but emotionally and psychologically wrecked. As it is, I am now questioning my mental health.

"Listen Felicia.... I am not the right person to help you...", she paused pulling something out of her handbag. "One word of advice, don't hesitate to defend yourself because it's going to get worst. Not the police or the law would help you....only you can stop this madness from getting out of hand". She slided the hand gun to me. "That's something I wish I knew". She reached over and held my hands. Giving a sad reassuring smile, she got up and left.
I felt worst than an abandoned puppy drenched in the cold rain. The gun stared back at me waiting for its purpose.

The living room was very brightly lit and jolly. I watched my mother sip the tea in front of her as she told a joke. Meanwhile, I found Jon in the kitchen with apron around his waist. He smiled broadly. It was the most contagious expression i have seen.
"What are you doing....... I think Tanney is awake."
A cry came from the upper room. Ringing through my ear, I recognised it to be a baby's cry.
"Oh dear...nana is awake". Mother brushed past me, running up to the upper room.
"Be careful ", Jon called after her.
I chuckled.
"What are you making?"
"Some chicken curry....if it turns out well". Jon looked so much younger, his blond hair was much longer. His eyes were refreshingly delightful. I look around the house, It was our house. The first home Jon and I bought together. I would describe the home to be one of the foundations of our good times. It treasured so many fun moments as a family. At the same time, it harnessed some doubt, fear and regrets.
I glanced down at my ring finger to find the same diamond ring Jon had given me when we exchanged vows.

I looked around once more, to find our wedding picture hanging on the wall.

"Momentary happiness" a voice inside me said.
My attention was diverted to the door when the doorbell rang.
"Can you get Fel...it should Giana".
I slowly approached the door. Twisting the knob, the door opened. A sudden bright blinding light greeted my sight. The light slowly faded away. Trying to recognise who was standing on the porch, I moved closer.
"Gi ??" I called.
The face gradually became visible.
"Felicia".
My eyes widened when I recognised the figure standing in front of me.
" Ashton!!!!"

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