My Parents are Gay

Knight in Shining Armour

Narrator's POV

"Hey Doctor Dad."

"Yes Peter?"

"Argh! Uh, I think I'm going to be a little late for dinner tonight. Whoa."

"That's too bad. I made your favorite, lasagna."

"Aww man, really?"

"Mhm."

"Looks like I'll have to miss out on-oof!"

"And you won't get to hear Oliver talk about his first day of school at dinner tonight either."

"Oh yeah. How's the little guy? Hey! Hold on a minute."

"Alright."

"Can you excuse me for a minute? You are being very rude. I'm on the phone with my dad." Peter voice was a little faint, but Stephen was still able to hear him on the phone. There was a loud roar and a loud crash, a car horn went off continuously after the crash. "Okay, now that was on purpose." Peter brought the phone back up to his ear. "Sorry Dad, this guy wont leave me alone."

"I understand. Go kick his butt."

"Thanks dad. I love you."

"Love you too Peter."

The phone call was over.

"Sorry bud, Peter won't be joining us for dinner." Stephen told Oliver and sat down at the table. "He's busy."

"Aww." Oliver let his head fall.

"But why don't you tell me and Daddy how your day was?" Tony asked Oliver. "What did you do at school today?"

"Well..." Oliver looked up.

///0///0

"Juggernaut, you've gotta cool it man." Peter leaped from one building to another as the huge man threw a car at him.

"Shut up spider." He said, looking for Peter.

"Over here." Peter whistled.

"Huh?" Juggernaut turned around and was hit with a mailbox.

Peter laughed. "Come on man. You can't tell me you didn't see that coming- Ahh!" Peter yelped as he was suddenly taken by the leg and swung around, and slammed to the concrete. "Urgh." He groaned in pain, trying to get up.

"Pathetic. Weak." Juggernaut laughed, picking Peter up by the neck.

Peter gasped for air, trying to get Juggernaut's large hand to loosen around his throat. "S-Sorry I laughed a-at y-Ah!" He gasped.

"I could snap you in half right now." Juggernaut smirked. "You know, I think I will." His grip around Peter's throat got tighter, suffocating the teenager.

"Ah." Peter gasped, his hands trying their best to break him free from the deadly grip. His legs wriggling, trying to help him out. "Ah." He gasped again. His eyes began to roll to the back of his head.

"Get ready to meet your maker Spider-Man." Juggernaut squeezed tighter.

"Hah." Peter fell limp.

Juggernaut gave a low chuckle. "Argh!" He was interrupted by a hard pinch on his shoulder. He turned around.

"Wow. What're your biceps made of? That bullet didn't even go through." It was Wade. He was staring at a gun in his hand. He looked at Juggernaut. "You gotta teach me your tricks." He said, putting the gun away and pulling out a katana.

"Deadpool. Since when are you on the spider's side?" Juggernaut asked, throwing Peter into a coffee shop window, shattering the glass.

"Who says I am?" Wade jumped in the air, doing a back flip over the large man and landing on a car. "Maybe I'm here for the same reason you are." He said.

"I was here first." He charged at Wade.

Wade jumped into the air, slipping past Juggernaut's waist; grabbing a small glowing purple sack. "I'll be taking that."

Juggernaut flipped the car Wade was sitting on. "You've got guts to be stealing from Thanos."

"Ooooo. Fetching a gift for daddy, are we?" Wade said, holding up the sack. "What is it?"

"That's none of your business." A car was thrown at Wade, who dodged it. He sat on top of a building.

"What did he promise you? Money? Fame? A girlfriend?" Wade questioned.

"That's also not your business." Juggernaut leaped up to the building that Wade sat on. "Now give it back before I squash you like I did to the bug back there."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Wade said, spinning the small sack on his finger.

"Huh?" Juggernaut was kicked in the face, sent back a few feet.

"Spiders are arachnids." Peter said, panting a little. He saw Wade sitting on the edge of the building. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Came to help." Wade said.

"Thanks, but I didn't need your help." Peter said.

"Mhm. A few more minutes and you-"

"Hold that thought." Peter interrupted. A large piece of rubble was thrown at him, which he caught with two strings of webbing and swung right back around to Juggernaut; knocking him off the building again. "You were saying?"

"A few more minutes and you would've died." Wade said.

"I could've fought him off myself." Peter said.

"Oh come on Petey." Wade stood up. He approached Peter, pulling him closer by the hip. "It was clear you needed me."

"I was doing just fine without you." Peter said.

"You're so cute." Wade pulled up his mask halfway, revealing his lips. He did the same to Peter.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Hey! Could you keep it down for a second? We're having a moment." Wade said to Juggernaut.

"Menace!" The giant man shouted.

"Urgh, excuse me my love." Wade pulled away, pulling a round object from his belt. He backed up, did a graceful backflip, landing on Juggernaut's shoulders. "See ya, Juggers." He attached it to the large right shoulder he was standing on.

"Wait. AAAARGH-" An explosion took place on Juggernaut's back, sending him flying away somewhere.

"AAH!" Wade was sent forcefully into Peter by the explosion. They both flew off the building.
Peter tried his best to attach webbing to the building, which ended up in a tangled mess. He closed his eyes as they fell. Everything felt silent. "Psst. Petey, wake up." Wade's voice came into his ears. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Huh?" Peter looked around. Wade was tangled with him in webbings. They were hanging upside down in an alley. "Phew." He sighed in relief. "Thought we were goners there for a second."

"Nah. You saved us." Wade kissed Peter's cheek.