I Complain Too Much

Me the 2nd: river, the longest song I've ever written

I'm here today to tell you about one of the things my brain created, the things you haven't seen yet. This is going to be based purely on a musical thing not a writing thing, so forgive if it seems a bit random. I've said already that I'm a total music nerd, and I figured it could be fun to share some of the projects I've started over the last few years. In a few chapters on this book.

The first of these projects is one of my favourite concepts. It took about three or four months to finish writing the lyrics and melody and chords, and after that I started to produce it at school in the music department. By this point, I'd finished my coursework, so there was literally nothing else to do. As a result, I spent my days ordering the structure of this song and adding parts to it on the computer I use at school. I spent time adding instrumental tracks and extra sections and a drum beat (keyed in because I can't play drums lol).

The result of my efforts was a purely instrumental work. It's still not finished now. I didn't understand many parts of music production, and I think I'll add some of my knowledge on synthesis and equalisation and effects and tempo controls and all sorts of fancy things that make no sense to people who don't....music. 13-14 year old me included.

Allow me to introduce you to the concept and ideas behind the longest song I have ever written.

I called it 'River'.

I was messing around in a practice room with a friend of mine during a lunch break, and we came across a chord progression which sounded cool. We made note of what it was, and a melody came to mind. I was walking home from school that day when the refrain thingy popped into my head. And since then, it just evolved.

I would sit there in my science lessons, in my history lessons, in my lessons in general, with a lined piece of paper hidden in my pencil case. Every time a couplet came into my head, I scribbled it down like the nerd I am. Because they literally appeared in my head, as a sung melody. I can't explain how that happens, because I don't understand it myself.

And after a few weeks I had about two (ish) verses worth of random rhyming couplets, so I started to try and put them together. By this point, I had a few songs written, maybe about ten or fifteen ish? And I decided that I would try and integrate those into the overall song that was created.

So there are lines that follow a melody and the lyrics of another song. There are places where I've mixed several different references to other songs together in an attempt to create something relatively new. It was a confusing thing to do, even more so when I created a layered section which I've never actually done in practice. Why? Because I can't sing two separate melodies overlapping at the same time. I'm a human being not a robot lmao.

And then there's a key change because CoNtRaSt (something my music teacher is way too obsessed with) and potentially my favourite part of the song because the melody is really satisfying to sing along to and stuff I don't really know. I mainly started that section because of what my dad said - "won't it get boring after a while?"

I basically went "shit you rite' and added contrast.

That is how I write my songs, wonders. That thought process.

So then there's another change of key which was actually added when the song was finished. I was producing it, or starting to, and I decided "why the hell not?" and added in some minor chords. This section is much darker I think and kind of focuses on on the idea that it's difficult to prove that life is actually the way it seems. It's (to quote myself) 'like an action movie on a tv screen, you can't reach it but it's there'.

Then we have reference station and then we have a callback to the first verse.

That was confusing, so this is the structure of the overall song (with the concept added in and an explanation of it).

Intro verse thing:
An eight-line verse which basically sets the scene of the song. Starts the story, reference to gayness. It was the first and the last thing to get written (as you'll see). The idea is that it starts as a sort of bedside story which gets told endlessly. From 'tell me that story again mother', you can tell that time is going to pass in the song itself and in the lyrics. 

The refrain:
Pops into the picture after the intro and gets repeated way too much, kind of nostalgic and like 'I don't wanna change and grow up because I don't know what I'm doing with my life'. 

Some verses with the refrain there at places: 
Builds up the concept idea of what I was going to make the album. It's all sort of a 'coming of age' story, based on the metaphor of a river as the journey of life. When you get to the sea, you die. And when you pass towns and landmarks and all sorts of stuff like that, it's like memories or key events or birthdays or whatever. 

Layered thing:
The internal conflict of a confused teenager who's still discovering her identity and struggling with first loves and stuff. It sort of becomes a confession of sorts, harmonised and confusing still because there's still that part of her that doesn't know if she's reading into her emotions properly.

Grandmother thingy : 
This bit is interesting, because it starts with the idea that she's gone to her grandmother for help and assistance because she doesn't know how to life (I mean, same). It's the idea that she's scared but that it's okay to be scared. Nobody knows what's gonna happen which is exactly why it's so terrifying. 

Key change into E:
Here we have the section where she talks about how music has become a form of communication, how it helps her to understand herself. She mentions the idea of 'restless hearts and restless minds, of broken spirits, one of a kinds' in relation to how music acts as a sort of tonic for her 'restless' heart. Something like that.

The crunchy G minor section that was added later: 
Basically: 'hi I'm a complete fail and you should've seen this coming the whole time, life isn't what I expected and now I'm disappointed to find that I never figured out what I needed in time and all my ideals have massively changed oof'

Cool reference bit: 
It then goes into a section which is made up of the titles of all other songs. I won't recount it so you don't steal my ideas. But it's kind of like a summary of the experiences of her youth. Sort of. Gives me a chance to be all dark and depressing but also be inspired by Dearly Departed by Marianas Trench. A masterpiece, that song. 

The outro thing:
Goes back to the original key, and we have a repeat of the first verse with a few changes. Instead of being like a prophecy which is like 'oh she want to go into the world' it turns into 'she had a life'. The key difference is that we start the second half of this with 'tell me that story grandmother'. She's become a grandmother, and now she's passing that experience onto a brand new generation. 

And so the cycle continues, so to speak. 

But that's the idea. That should show you where my most meaningful music comes from and also how I think a little bit more. And then when I start to actually share my music with you, whenever that is, you have an idea of what you're letting yourself in for? 

Thoughts?