I Complain Too Much

Me 1: Let's learn about hooverssweaterpaws - the nerd

I think as well as a rant book, this can be sort of a way for you guys to get to know me better. After all, it doesn't do any harm to actually understand the person who's writing all these books and complaining about all of these random things. And maybe then some of the things I say, some of the concepts I come up with and some of the big analogies I use will make some sort of sense. 

You don't have to tell me that sometimes I can go on a tangent. Most of the time you as wonders don't seem to mind, which is wonderful and I am very grateful for that. But I think it's good for you to realise where my views and ideas come from, so that you can better understand how and why I write the way I do. 

Having said that, I'm going to formally introduce myself and my main personality traits to you. For the reasons above. 

You may call me 'Izzy', if you want. This is a nickname I use in real life, so don't worry, I'm not lying to you. I turned 17 in December 2018, and I'm an English child. I'm an ARMY (big surprise there) and I was lucky enough to see BTS live in October, in London. I'm bisexual, and I'm not ashamed of that online. In real life, I'm not out to many people. 

Why? Just because I'm not ready yet. That is literally the only reason. 

So my references towards the rights of LGBTQA+ do technically affect me as well, but I like to think that doesn't make me a shallow person, to want to help people that I myself can relate to. I guess that explains why my books often have that kind of theme, but I also just love to raise awareness of things people forget about. 

It's like my duty as someone with a small online influence to use that to help others and highlight where things just aren't right. If someone asked me to raise awareness of autism or deafness or whatever else, I'd be honoured to, and with the right research I'd be able to provide the world with a better understanding of different types of people. 

Because knowledge brings the world together. If we're scared of the unknown, a greater understanding brought about by literature can fix that fear and stop some of the prejudice and negativity seen for some groups. 

I'm not going to sit here and call myself a saint, of course not. I do have my flaws and things that I cannot stand.  But I want you to know that I will do what I can to make sure I can help as many people as I can. After all, what else am I here for? 

You know me as a creator through my writing, but there's another part to me that you might not know about. My creativity through my music. 

I have written about thirty-fifty songs in my time, not the best most of them but they still exist. I have taught myself how to play various BTS songs on the piano, and as I've said before, I've been doing piano lessons for a long time. 

It will be 10 years on April 29th this year. That's how long its been. 

That is insane. 

I have an electric piano, with pedals and different instrument settings and layering stuff. I named her 'Bolu', as some of you may be aware already. I came down the stairs on my birthday five or six years ago, it must be now, and she was there, in the lounge. I don't think I recovered from the shock (positive shock) for hours. It was probably the best day of my life.

Yes, you read that right, I named my piano. I can't be bothered with being ashamed of it. 

I'm also working on a variety of projects within music production. Things that I won't clarify yet, because they're nowhere near finished. It might be years before I release any of the things I've been doing. By then, I might finally have an album written. We'll see. 

I joined Wattpad...how long ago? About three years, according to what it says on my profile. I joined because my friends bugged me to join so that I could read their original stories. We were still kids, about 13 or 14, and we just wrote whatever came into our heads. 

No editing, no common sense, no plot, no proofreading..it makes me shudder just thinking of how bad my first books were. And then I started to read fanfics, and saw how good they were. Then I discovered BTS in mid 2016. 

It's safe to say that they changed my life. 

Suddenly, I had a musical idol to look up to, and when I saw their performances I realised how badly I wanted to be able to perform and have people sing my songs to me. I realised how much I wanted to be a positive influence on others' lives, because I wanna be remembered. It's selfish, but I wanted that. I still do, even now. It's what drives me to improve my singing, my piano, my songwriting. My knowledge. 

Suddenly, I knew what to write about as well. 

And so I started to write a little book that I called 'Exchange', a taekook fanfic about two boys who met because one got to go on a school trip to Korea. I was eight chapters in before I started to publish the prologue, something I'd never done before. And then every other day, I updated. 

Around this time, someone new came to my tap dancing class. And I met one of the best friends I could ever have. My Taekook buddy. 

We bonded over BTS, I told her about Exchange. And then she was the opinions person, as she'll probably remember quite well. She was the one I turned to when I decided to start writing another book about a young boy scared of the dark who falls in love with a dark rabbit. 'Dark'. 

I remember being able to update every day, able to keep up with that endless cycle, and I remember my excitement when the reads started to grow. Just a little, day by day. And then, within a year, I went from 20 followers to 220. 

The next year, it carried on growing. 

And then I left my tap class, and contact with my Taekook buddy started to fade out. And then last year, in February, I started a book called 'Tail of Taekook', and then someone suggested a new concept that I loved the sound of. A human lie detector. 

I used this as an excuse to get back into contact with that same buddy. And suddenly, we were closer than ever, and now I can't imagine how I would've got through last year without her. That's the reason I mention her so often, why this week is so full of updates and ideas. Because I don't know what else to get her for her birthday, I don't know how to show my appreciation for everything she does and everything she puts up with. I can't buy awesome conventional gifts. I'm not that organised. 

She will read this, so I hope she doesn't anger from me saying this. Well, it's not negative, so it should be okay. 

(me hope)

But yeah, basically I'm a total nerd who's always loved music and writing and hopes that she'll have a future within that kind of thing, who is way too attached to her friends and cannot believe that she's managed to reach so many people already on this app or website or whatever you wanna call it. 

I've said this before, but it is insane. And it's thanks to you guys. So thank you for making this part of my life. And thank you for joining in on the journey, early or new. 

Izzy xxx