Shadowhunter Chronicles Imagines/ One-Shots | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

julian blackthorn : apart

(Y/N) held her arms crossed firmly over her chest, her eyes fixed on Julian as he talked to Magnus Bane. It was killing her, standing across from him and pretending that she didn't love him. Her chest burned- it felt like she was drowning and no one noticed a bit- with the pain of not being able to be near him.

Julian tussled his hair, stress clear across his face as Magnus spoke to him. (Y/N) wasn't sure what they were talking about but she recognized that look, it was the same look he had on his face a few weeks back when they had broken up.

Julian creased his brow, tugging at the ends of his hair in distress. "I don't know what to say (Y/N)." His voice was weak, so low that (Y/N) was sure that if they weren't alone in her room she wouldn't have heard him.

They had been fighting for the past hour, or longer neither one of them was really sure. Although they weren't screaming it was obvious  to both that they were upset. After six months they had moved out the honeymoon phase, finding it harder and harder to find time for one another.

(Y/N) sighed, looking over Julian's face. She hated the look on his face, he looked so sad and desperate. "Julian just forget I said anything, if you don't want to spend time with me that's fine but just admit it-"

"By the Angel (Y/N)!" Julian cried out, running shaky hands over his face. He wanted to hold her and tell her why they couldn't spend more time together, to tell her that apart from raising his four siblings and training to be a Shadowhunter he was also trying to keep his uncles disease a secret and hold his family together.

Silence fell between them, and for the first time in their relationship (Y/N) couldn't find anything to say to him. Julian had been the person she would run too when things went wrong in her life, but now she felt like anything she said would be wrong.

Tears welled in her eyes, as a realization flooded over her. "Julian..." Her voice trailed off, trying go figure out how to say the words running through her head. "I think-" There was a crack in her voice- she was pretty sure that the crack came from her heart shattering- when she tried to speak. "I don't think we can do this anymore." She said, titling her head and looking at (Y/N) with a saddened look.

Julian's face dropped, more if that was even possible, as he processed her words. He swallowed, trying to find something to say to her that would fix this.  "(Y/N) please." Was all that came out, he hated begging but he couldn't think of anything else.

"Let's be serious Julian." (Y/N) said breathlessly. She ran her hand through her hair, "We don't have time for each other anymore." She explained, trying to make this as easy as possible. Her head was spinning, with thoughts of the two of them laying in bed together, the two of them kissing, the two of them playing with each other's hair and talking all night.

Julian swallowed, realizing there was no way to fix this. She was right, they didn't have anytime for each other anymore. It killed him to admit that she was right, "Yeah." Julian said, his voice breaking. "That's probably best." He whispered, pushing past her without another glance and slamming the door behind him. (Y/N) flinched as the noise of the door echoed throughout her room.

(Y/N) remembered the night perfectly. She had stayed up all night crying, throwing things and breaking things. Tears had stained her cheeks all night, trying anything to make the pain leave her chest. It felt like someone was sitting on her chest, she couldn't breath and there was no one to help her.

Julian broke from his conversation with Magnus, and walked to where (Y/N) was standing. No more than a few words had been spoken between them in weeks. But Emma was out with Cristina and Mark- searching for a lead on a new case- and Julian needed someone with him to meet Magnus that he trusted.