You are probably pretty peeved off at me for never updating. And I'm sorry. So I'm here to tell you why I haven't been updating. Because my life has been a living hell in the past year.
So some of you may understand this but I have serious depression and anxiety. And it has gotten to the point where I feel trapped in my own mind and I can't speak out. I have been unable to update because I had to go to numerous councillors and get some help. Recently it has gotten really bad because I will be seeing my father for the first time in 2 years since the day he cheated on my mother and kicked me, my mum and my little brother out of the house. I'm not really prepared to meet him again. But I will because my brother wants to and I want to protect my little brother. The last time I talked to my father over the phone was February last year when we had an argument. I was over him being so selfish.
Since then we had our car taken away from us, because he didn't want us to have the car that was under his name.
At night when I'm alone I have breakdowns, on a few accounts I get angry to a large extent. Other times I take medication for sleeping. And sometimes I will just cry for long periods of time. It's very hard to keep a cool face and always plaster on a fake smile.
I really don't know when I will be able to find time to update, considering I'm grade 11 this year, work over 23 hours a week and I've just turned 16, 2 weeks ago. You may think that I'm over reacting and I know that there are people who think that way when I tell them what is merely on the surface. There is much much more to my life but this is just the surface that I'm willing to share.
So I hope you understand me. I hope you will not hate me for never updating and I also hope that you can give me some more time. I'm truely very sorry. And I do still think about updating but I never manage to find time or the will power, especially with the mindset I'm in. So please hold on and wait for me. I will get there and I will update, just in my own time for now.
Sorry again,
Idonnowhodisis x
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