Cigarette Smoke // FILLIE

Similarity

m i l l i e

After hearing and absolutely grilling Ayla about Jack Grazer and New Years, we finally got to watching The Breakfast Club.

Yet I guess all that asking and answering tired Ayla and Maddie out, because they ended up fast asleep only 20 minutes in.

Not that I minded, it felt nice to be snuggled up with Finn as my back leaned against the couches arm, comforted by a pillow, and my legs laid over the long criss-crosses ones beneath them.

Though, the mess of legs was covered by a soft blanket that draped over both of us in the coldness of the basement.

"You remind me of John." I admit while watching the badass character shimmy through the fictional school's air vents, doing more thinking than watching in all fairness.

"Why's that?" I hear Finn ask softly from my left, his voice a tone I've only been familiar with when he's tired or comforting me after I break down.

I stare at the television as I explain after thinking the similarities over in my mind, "You both use drugs to distract you from your pain, I guess. Your messed up childhoods. You're both complete assholes, but only because you're scared to let people see the parts of you that you think are weak. When in reality, they're the strongest parts of who you are. But most of all, you both don't really care about what happens to you- or at least you act like you don't."

Finn hums faintly in response, and I can tell the gears in his mind are cranking from his lack of protest or questioning.

He thinks I'm right.

"Did your dad like this movie?" Finn asks suddenly, his tone genuine and voice rich in the quiet night.

The question almost surprises me as my eyes drift to his, my face painted over in slight shock.

"Uh, yeah- how'd you know that?" I question with both suspicion and curiosity obvious in my British voice.

And for once in what seems like months of absence, a bright smile shines over his face and lights a warm fire in my chest.

"You asked to wear my jacket when Ayla told you we were watching The Breakfast Club.. I guess you just looked like you were reminiscing to me." He confesses through a lighthearted, quiet laugh that shows off his perfect white teeth and charming smile.

Gosh, how I wish I could see him like this everyday.

"What does your jacket have to do with my dad though?" I ask while pulling the jacket closer around my body despite its lack to fit me correctly- instead it sort of lying on my torso and arms like a heavy, Finn-scented, quilt.

"It smells like Marlboro cigarettes- the same kind your dad smoked. I like to think that when you heard what we were watching, you wanted to watch it as if you were watching it with him in your head. To help that illusion, you were probably instinctively drawn to the thing that smells like him." Finn explains quietly, careful not to wake the two other girls who lay dead asleep.

I hum, thinking over his wise and thought-out explanation over the tiniest of things. It's like his mind somehow automatically comes up with these complicated explanations for every single act or response he sees or hears. It's incredible and strange all in the same way.