Broken Innocence (C.H.)

6 - Deja Vu

I opened my eyes and rolled over on the couch. The sound of cabinet doors opening and closing awoke me. I looked over into the kitchen to see the familiar sight of Calum fumbling around in the kitchen in his pajamas.

Deja Vu

"Are you always hanging out in the kitchen in the morning?" He turned around.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you." He awkwardly rubbed his arm, and replied back to me. I laughed slightly at his awkward reply.

"It's ok. Hey do you have any advil? My head is killing me," I asked him then rubbed my eyes and brushed my hair out from off of my face.

"Oh yeah." He shook his head then went back over to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water, and the medicine then walked back over to hand it to me. I thanked him then took the pills.

"Is Ashton awake yet?" I asked him after putting my drink on the coffee table.

"I think so..." Calum answered, and a second later Ashton popped around the corner.

"Morning." I replied to him, and he sat down across from me in the chair.

"Good morning." He smiled back at me.

"How'd ya sleep?" He questioned me.

"Good, I guessed I passed out because I don't remember anything after the party." I replied back to him.

"Yeah you passed out as soon as we left."

"I figured. I can't remember anything after leaving," I replied back, and pulled my hair up out of my face.

I forgot everything about last night. So I told myself but, I remember crying. I remember getting upset when Calum asked about my parents. I never told him the full story and exactly what they did, but I just remember how much he cared. How even if I never said anything about it how he just cared that I was ok. I wish that was all I could remember. But, the thought of my parents and the anger it brought up. It Was still lingering, and it still hurts so bad. But, as I always do I pushed back the emotions again.

Get over yourself. You always get through this, and you had to live like this for so long.

Suck it up and move on.

I told myself. I tried to make myself forget. Push away the feelings away push away the anger. I shook my head to get out of my thoughts and turned my attention back to reality.

I looked over at Calum and he scrunched his brows at me giving me a "are you ok" look. I bit the inside of my lip and shook my head softly to let him know I was fine. That's what I do. I'll bottle up my emotions and throw on an outward appearance. I never want anybody to worry about me. Tell me how sorry they are because it wouldn't matter. I'm too scared of opening up to others. I'm scared they will do what people always do. They give up on you. If I never let anyone in then no one could ever hurt me again. So I build up walls, and lock myself inside of them. Allowing my emotions to grow within them, but walls will only go so high.

I checked my phone, and it was almost seven. I probably need to get back home.

"I think I'm going go back to my place before it gets to late. Thank you for letting me stay over again," I stood up from the couch.

"Oh are you sure you don't want to stay one more night? It's really not a big deal we don't mind at all." Calum asked me.

"Thank you, but I really should probably go back home." I replied back to him.

"Is Evan going to be there," Ashton asked while staring at the table.

"Um... I'm not sure, but maybe. He does live there, but why would that matter?" I furrowed my brows confused why he asked me.

"Im just not sure if it's a good idea for you to be staying with him." He replied.

"Well i'm sorry if you think that, but I live with him and it's not like I can avoid him." I shook my head and slightly laughed at his odd remark.

"Um Calum do you think you could take me home?" I looked over at him and asked. He nodded his head and began to get up.

"Alex" Ashton said my name. I sharply turned over to look at him.

"What Ashton!" I raised my voice at him.

"Alex, Evan isn't a good guy. You shouldn't be living with him."

"Excuse me?" I raised my voice and questioned.

"I'm sorry, but you don't know a damn thing about him. And, you barely know anything about me so you have no right in telling me how I should live my life. I'm going home, and you don't have a say so in that." I turned around and started to walk toward the door. I don't care if that was harsh because he doesn't know Evan what gives him the right to say that. Or try to tell me how to live my life.

"Alex wait," Calum said to me. I rolled my eyes and turned back to him.

"I'll take you back. You don't need to walk." I nodded my head, and replied a soft thank you. Calum looked over at Ashton and gave him a disappointed look then turned back and walked toward me.

"Come on," He grabbed his keys and opened the door for me.

The car ride was silent. Calum pulled into the parking lot, and shut off the car. I went to grab the door handle and get out, but paused when Calum said my name.

"Alex, Ashton didn't mean to hurt you." Calum told me and I turned back to him. I took in a sharp breath of air then replied back to him.

"Calum, He might not have meant to, but he did. And, Why does he even care so much? Evan may be far from perfect, but after everything. I couldn't be more grateful for him taking me in. Ashton cant say a fucking thing about him he doesn't even know him. He wasn't there when my parents kicked me out. Evan was, and Evan has always been there. So I don't fucking appreciate both of you thinking you can just tell me how to live my life. When I only fucking met you about a week ago!" I yelled back and threw my hands on my face from frustration then wiped away the tear from my eye before it fell down my face. Calum didn't say anything else after my harsh response.

"Goodbye Calum" I huffed out, and rushed out the car while heavily closing the door behind me.