Broken Innocence (C.H.)

12 - Mistakes

I flickered my eyes open and focused on my surroundings. I had woken up in Calum's room. Someone was next to me cradling my body. I looked over at Calum who was next to me heavily sleeping, I smiled to myself remembering him being there to comfort me last night. I felt something inside of me. I actaully felt happy, and I haven't felt like that in a long time. I haven't been truly happy for years. After my parents kicked me out, I lost my happiness. If the two people that I thought were always there for me hate me. I mean why would anyone else care about me? If I'm that terrible of a person then I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve happiness. I don't understand why they are being so nice to me or why I feel so comfortable around them. All of this is so new to me and it's just so intriguing. I want this, and I want what I used to have. I want my innocence back.

I contemplated moving, but I didn't want to wake Calum. He looked so peaceful, but I really had to go to the bathroom so I decided to just get up. I slowly tried to slide out of his grasp without making much movement. I gently picked up his arm and moved it over.

Dammit.

Calum fluttered his eyes and looked at me. He grinned when he saw my face.

"Goodmorning," he said in a raspy voice as he looked up and smiled at me.

"Goodmorning," I smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I just have to go to the bathroom," I laughed because he looked really funny from this angle. I was sitting up on the side of the bed looking over at him as he was laying down. He groaned and rolled back over while pulling the blankets over his face in the process. I stood up from his bed and walked down the hall and into the bathroom.

After using the bathroom and splashing my face with cold water I walked into the kitchen to see if Ashton might be awake. I looked over into the living room and kitchen and they were both silent and empty.

"Goodmorning!" Someone said as they grabbed my shoulders from behind me. I jumped then turned around and gave Ashton a glare.

"Woahhhhh...not a morning person I see," Ashton laughed at me.

"Bitch," I laughed and hit him on the arm. He walked from around me, and I followed him as he entered the kitchen.

"Where did you sleep last night? I went into the living room, and i didn't see you," He said to me as he was grabbing bowls from the cabinet.

"Calum's room...he wouldn't let me sleep on the couch," I said to him as I watched him grab cereal and milk from the fridge.

"Ahh...cereal?" He questioned me as he pointed to the bowl and waited for my response. I nodded my head in return. He handed me a bowl and I thanked him. I grabbed the spoon and started to dig in on the meal of sugary Cheerios. I turned around as I heard footsteps walk down the hall. Calum entered the kitchen a second later.

"Morning," he said with no emotion as he grabbed a bowl and poured himself some cereal. He picked the bowl up and sat it down beside me then climbed into the barstool next to mine.

"Did you sleep well?" He looked up from his bowl and asked me.

"Yeah," I responded back then continued to eat. I felt like there was awkward tension between us, but I don't know why. After what happened last night, I thought we would be closer. Now I feel like the opposite happened. I can't deny it that I have feelings for him. I know he doesn't feel the same way, and I like the friendship we have now. I don't want to ruin it so I'll do what I'm best at doing pushing my emotions away. I can't catch feelings for anyone not anymore. I'm done. I can't let anyone hurt me anymore so here I go again. I'm building my wall back up. Picking back up my pieces trying to fit them back into the black hole. What am I doing here? I don't even know if I can trust them yet. I need to get back home.