Hush //Jimin FF

Chapter 74

His lips left your slowly, letting you with the feeling of wanting a little bit more.

You opened your eyes and looked at him, still enchanted by the moment and the sweet taste of his lips that was still ghosting upon yours.

"What was that?" You whispered your question to him as you definitely weren't expecting that kind of thing to happen or better said, you weren't expecting for him to initiate it.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just wanted to kiss you. Feel you." He responded in a low tone as his eyes traveled yours, his breaths still unstable.

You stayed quiet for a while more till those words sink in your mind and your facial expression started to harden.

" No, wait. I didn't mean anything bad by it. That you are something I can do whatever with or something. I am sorry." He panicked, now stepping back and starting to pace from left to right as he was looking at the sky, huffing and sighing.

"Okay, let me be honest with you Y/N" He stopped and faced you, whom was waiting for him to get himself together as you understood that he was having some difficulties and honestly you were too, so you just waited to hear him out, whatever was that he would say.

"You weren't always important but.. Since the day you cried for me on my mansion, You became something to me. And look at me now. Doing stupid stuff, wanting to know you more and be there for you because you were there for me and i wanted to make it up somehow. "He stated and you still kept silent, feeling somehow sad because his words sounded as if he kissed you out of pity or to pay some kind of debt he had towards you.

" I really wanna slap you. "You told him as he stopped there and didn't continued, showing him your sincere feelings.

" Make it up too me? How? By kissing me? By messing with my feelings? Do you even know what you are doing?! "You retorted, your tone expressing your anger.

" I didn't finish!"He raised a little his voice as he felt like you were about to go off on him and he probably wouldn't have the chance to explain again.

" I like you okay. It's hard to admit and yes i just realized myself, but i do. Or else i wouldn't be here and i wouldn't be letting you in and trusting you with my feelings. I like you and that is a problem. Do you understand Y/N?" He confessed, your eyes going wide as he was looking you dead in the eyes while saying so.

" Because i am your student?"You questioned quietly as you understood that well.

" Because I am who i am. Someone that as you already know just recently screwed up a relationship and someone that is messed up. I just don't want to initiate anything with you because you are important. I don't want to screw you up too." He admitted, his body falling down as he sat on the floor, his hands pulling his head down while he was saying all that.

You looked at him as you sighed and you sat down too facing him, completely calm at the surface.

" And what do you want me to do now professor?" You asked him and he slowly lifted his head too meet your eyes. The word you called him, making him feel the distance that you automatically placed. However he still looked in your eyes and he could tell that a hint of sadness was hiding inside you.

"I think it would be better if we wouldn't talk to each other from now on. Continue with your life. This liking will go away eventually. You don't have to get burden by my feelings." He said, and you just felt the heavy feelings on your chest grew more, as you gulped down your words and the thoughts of letting him know that you had some feelings for him as well.

" Don't worry. I will pretend this never happened and from tomorrow, my life will be as it was before meeting you." You told him smiling a little, as you got up and extended your hand to him to help him up.

"It was really nice meeting you professor. The real parts of you i mean. Good and bad, i am thankful... Cause at the end, i still respect you." You told him and he looked up at you just staring for a moment, before his lips turned to a smile and he grabbed your hand and pulled himself up, giving a firm handshake to you after he was on his two feet.

" I am glad Taehyung chose you to bring to this mess. Thank you for understanding me and baring with me and.. I apologize for the kiss. I.. Lost control of my emotions for a moment and they aren't even clear so that was not nice of me." Jimin almost mechanically talked to you before pulling his hand away and getting out of your sight, opening the door of your house and closing it quickly after he entered it.

You stared at the door for a while, the snow still falling around you, your mind blank as you stepped towards the door and with quick steps you reached to your room, locking the door behind you.

Your heart was trembling same as your hands, that were probably reacting like that because of the cold temperature or maybe because of what had just happened.

You chickened out. At the end, you couldn't say it. Because you knew he was confused himself. It was obvious and you don't want to get in any relationship with him when he is like that. Because you know well that it will fail.

You remember his words well enough. 'No love could ever compare to hers, that's why every woman after her ends up nothing.' He had told you and you knew at that moment even more that there was no hope for you and him, or for him and anyone else. Because he wasn't over her.

He wasn't over NeeRin. His now step mother. His ex girlfriend. His first love and the person that he had planned to marry.

No matter how much you think about it, there was no way you could overcome the memories and love they had shared as from what you had noticed and seen by the pictures on the album you had found at his mansion's library, Jimin loved that woman with all he got.

Why am i sad. Stop being sad.

You scolded yourself, as you were slightly regretting your behavior earlier. You should have told him you liked him too. You shouldn't have called him a professor so abruptly shoving on his face his place like that. But now it was done.

You stepped towards your bed like a zombie and you were ready to slam your body on it, but a package caught your eyes, laying by your pillow.

You gave a confused look at it as you went over and you grabbed it, examining it, only to see that it had arrived by express post as the later on it said.

You opened the wrapping quickly and you found a plain box inside, which you quickly opened only for your eyes to go wide when you saw a stuffed animal that resembled exactly the one you had lost when you were around seventeen.

You had had it since you were little and your mother had mistakenly throw it out someday, then had claimed that you were grow up enough and you didn't needed it anyways, but you had actually cried for that toy because you were connected to it.

And now, it was standing before you and you couldn't help but be speechless.

You noticed the small piece of paper on it's head and you quickly grabbed it and unfolded it, reading it.

"Your mother told me the story while he  upon a picture of you with this cute cow stuffed animal. I instantly thought that it would be a good gift for new years and well i have never gifted you anything so..
Just so you know i pulled hella a lot of connections to find me a similar one and have it here on time, it's a used one tho. I still hope you like it. Happy new year.
-Jimin"

You couldn't help but feel like crying at that moment as you picked up the toy and your eyes fall to a certain spot where you remember clearly your old toy having a stain at, and this one had it too.

It's the same one!

You thought, recognizing it and shocked as you were, you stood up and run towards Jimin's room, wanting to hug him, thank him and probably just cry in his arms but when you opened the door, the room was empty... And his suitcase.. Gone.

It seems this new year had started indeed differently and it had already left you, a bitter regret.

---To be continued....