Hush //Jimin FF

Chapter 95

You looked at him with wide eyes, not being able to believe that you had just slapped him as that was an impulsive action you never thought you would do, considering that you are not a violent person in general. However at that moment you were in a state of panic. Worried that once again he will misunderstand and lose control, like he did yesterday in your apartment.

You knew well it wasn't in him to behave like that because he was mostly collected and talkative and usually even when he would get mad, his anger would surface in a more quiet way, turning his facial features to stern and deadly and occasionally yelling in a deep voice just enough to scare you.

When you were his slave that was the behavioral pattern you had picked up as to when he gets angry however he had burst in a scarier and a bit violent expression of anger two times in such a small time that obviously showed that he was panicking and under a lot of pressure himself.

"I-I am sorry. I didn't mean to.. You were jumping into conclusions again and I.. Ji-" You gathered the courage and broke the silence that had fallen between you after that action of yours, only for him to cut your words abruptly, as he pulled you close and crashed his lips on yours, engaging an angry kiss, that displayed the frustration that your action had caused him. However as he kept kissing you his roughness went away together with his anger.

"I am sorry." He murmured softly into your lips as he broke the kiss only to kiss them again, this time more delicately and softly, showing his apology with actions and not just words.

"I didn't do anything, really. I swear. Please believe me." You were looking at his eyes after his lips had pulled away sending yours free and making you able to speak again, even though your heartbeat was extremely loud from the excitement that his kisses just caused you.

Jimin looked back at your eyes that were at a close distance from him since your faces were still close to each other and his facial expression softened, inside him a battlefield of a part of him that wanted to believe you and another that just couldn't. No matter the case though he knew he couldn't do this alone especially now that his father knows everything.

There was no way he could face all this alone because he was just to scared and terrified of what he was to face. Of his disappointed and hurt eyes of his father directed at him. Of someone he loved so much to cast him out of his life because he indeed betrayed him.

You were awaiting for his response that it never came as he just engulfed you in a hug and kept you tight making you understand that he wasn't okay.

"Don't worry, i am sure your father still loves you no matter what. You can just explain your side and i am sure he will understand. He is your father Jimin. No woman will ever be more import to him than his sons." You reassured him while patting his back lightly, knowing well that your words were the truth as for as long as you know Mr Park it was obvious that his sons were his world to him.

" I am disgusting, aren't I? A Coward that can't face the consequences of his own actions. A fool that only keeps burying himself in guilt and self-loath. No one will never understand how i feel exactly. No one will ever see how ugly i am in my head. How much i deserve to be hated. "His words left you speechless and put your heart in pain at this small portion of his darkness that he had let it slip out of his mouth in this vulnerable moment that he was.

" I may never understand. No one may because no one is you and as thus our judgments defer. I recognize your pain and your mistakes. You have done plenty and you are no angel but you were never meant to be that. We are all born humans Jimin. Not perfect." You left your thoughts pour on his ear softly as you kept hugging him and stroking his hair lightly.

" How can you love me when i am like this? Why do you love me if you really can see how ugly i am?" He pulled away and met your eyes as he asked you those questions and you just smiled warmly at him before cupping his cheek.

"I wonder too. You do many things i dislike but my liking doesn't go away. It's irritating i admit but maybe that's just how love is. Abstract. I for once can't explain it. Can you?" Your words left him thinking and in his mind returned her name. He had no reason to love her, NeeRin had gave him more pain than she had ever gave love to him yet he still remained loving her for so long after her betrayal. Love truly was something that could not easily be explained but he sure knew the difference of a healthy love and an unhealthy one.

"Y/N.. Please come with me at the mansion tonight. I want you there." His invitation caught you by surprise however you agreed immediately because you were glad that he invited you.

You had high hopes for this meeting of theirs as you were sure that many things would finally get cleared up between them but you were also scared of tonight, knowing that Mr Park will announce to them the news of his health.

You knew well that him and Taehyung wouldn't take it lightly but if you were to be there you would have a chance to clarify his troubled thoughts and maybe one way or another put his self blaming feelings at ease the way you had successfully done right this moment.

If Jimin was to be alone, he would have been in a way worse condition right now but your sincere opinions and understanding had made him calm down as well as realize that you were special to him.

You has effects on him that no one else had before. You were so thoughtful and understanding, baring his abrupt behaviors and will to work on correcting them with him. You saw his flaws yet you never even pushed him to fix them. You just accepted them and made him by himself to want to grow better. You were perfect.  A human that anyone would be more than lucky to have in their lives yet here he was, still unable to love you no matter how much he wanted to.

He liked you, he can see your value and he loves all the feelings that you make him feel, the security, the calmness, the warmth and love you provide. He loved it all a way he never had before. Your 'I love you's being a switch button to his mood and filling him instantly with happiness. He loved the way you love him, so simply yet so good. He loved himself while in a relationship with you. But did he truly loved you for you? If you were to take all those things away and leave only you behind. Your warm eyes, your gaze, your smile, your habits, your personality and your soul. If you would give nothing to him and you were just all that, what would his feelings be?

Such were the thoughts that suddenly stormed in his head after your positive response, making him stare at you for some minutes and not even listen to your voice as you called his name up to two times.

"Jimin?.. You okay?" You waved your hand in front of his face as he seemed frozen in time and his eyes refocused on you, a majestic smile soon reaching his lips as he left his heart give him the answer to his wondering thoughts.

An answer that couldn't help but create that radiant smile before bringing you close and pecking your forehead, soon thanking you that you would go with him.

---To be continued....