A Continuation of The Journals Nobody Reads

Let Go

Luna

I listened to it thunder and pour outside as I held Case in my arms, gently kneading her neck. She didn't want us posting on here until the vamp did, but I'm worried. Her mood is as dark and damp as the weather, and I'm unable to help her.

I've got to find some way, though. I feel like she's slipping away again, going back to the times she had to lose herself in her alter form just to make it through the day. She told me she's already falling behind in some of her classes, but I just counter with the fact that she was genuinely sick and didn't just skip those 3 1/2 days.

It doesn't help, though. And maybe my coming back made it worse, I don't know. All I know is that I'm a fool, I can't be without her, and I can't help her.

I gently rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, willing this moment to go on longer than I knew it could. She was still mad; I could sense it. It wasn't the rage seeping off her aura like I was used to, but a colder feeling, almost hoplessness when it came to her and I.

It was like there was  nothing that could spiritually separate us; we were still an "item", but, like always, our relationship was complicated as hell and, currently, though we were officially together, we also were not.

I'll say it again. Complicated.

She pushed away from me and leaned against the wall, looking out her window at the rain. My heart sank as I watched her. There had to be something I could do. The shit that was going on would be over soon enough, sure, but even a short time in hell can ruin anyone, and then life would always come up with new ways to mess with you.

But everyone, especially Casey, who had so many times encouraged other people with the same dark thoughts, had the ability to overcome such challenges.

It was when she stopped believing everything would be okay that she started to sink like this.

I shifted and laid my head on her lap. She began smoothing down the fur on my head, and I let my eyes close.

Everything'll be okay. It'll all work out. I thought.

"I know. But the worst of it is still to come. I just want it to be over with."

I know. But there's no point in worrying over anything until it comes. I know, you don't have control over that, but...

I lifted my head and looked her in the eyes.

It really is okay to let go. It's okay to stop caring, if it means saving your own mental and physical health. So let go.