Chapter 5

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"WHAT IS WRONG", Kara, Aubreyanna and Alexandra yell at me. It's the weekend and we all linked at the park. "Oh my god nothing", I groan. "Listen you little fuckery" Alexandra grabs my hand, "there is obviously something bothering you". "Yea", Aubreyanna adds "you've been crying more than usual." (Fuck I didn't think they noticed). "And", Kara says "you haven't been eating".  "I'm fine can yall just leave it alone", I tap my foot. "No", they all say in sync. Again they are piercing into my soul. Should I tell them, should I not tell them? What if they don't believe me? What if what happened to me isn't as big and bad as I'm making it out to be? Maybe its my fault. Maybe I didn't say no or stop loud enough.  Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I imagined it. It's my fault it's my fault. SPLAT I barf and sob. "Kaylynn" Aubreyanna says as everyone else gasps.

Most of my friends, (3/4 Keisha couldn't come) lead me to a bench. "Let it out" Kara moves my hair from my face "what happened". Alexandra pats my back. "You can tell us anything, what's wrong".  "Nothing" I stand up and bolt home. "Hey Kay" my mom exclaims "you're home early". "Yea" I say "my stomach was hurting I'm just gonna take a nap." "Alright hun I'm off to work" she says walking out the door.

"Que to Que puto"! "Fuck you bitch!"  What the hell? I get out of my bed and walk outside. "Yasmine you good" I ask. "Yes baby" she says "it's just that fucking Jose always fucking shit up". I chuckle. "Oh mami can you do me a favor please" Yasmine smiles real big. "Sure I don't have anything better to do today" I reply. "Omg thank you" Yasmine sighs in relief. "I need you to help me make paseílloes for Jason's 19th birthday. "Okay" my heart pounds, "right now"? "Si" she motions her arm telling me to come upstairs. We go upstairs and start prepping. "Fuck" Yasmine sighs.  "I ran out of adobo I'll be back just gotta make a quick run to the store. "Okay" I say as she walks out the door. 

While waiting for Yasmine to return I watch Maury in their living room.  Jason comes out of his room and sits next to me on the couch. What the fuck I think to myself, I didn't even know he was here.  I scoot away I am very uncomfortable. It's quiet besides  the tv. He scoots closer and grabs my hand. I lay on his chest. Oh my God, what am I doing.  ¨I told you I wasn't ready¨ I say. He chuckles. ¨I know¨ he says. ¨But you'll be okay¨.  I roll eyes. ¨You're a fucking asshole¨. He laughs ¨You know I love you right¨. ¨Oof¨ I laugh. I sit up and we begin to make out.  I know it isn't right but when he touches me... I feel alive. His lips are so so soft and Iḿ just stuck in a trance.

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