Borrowed • Jesse Lingard

six.

I stand and look at myself in the mirror. How did I become this person? I've gone against everything I've ever said overnight. I look at the text on my lock screen from Jesse telling me to go over when I'm ready, unable to answer him yet I unlock my phone to call my best friend in Australia.

"I swear to god you better have a good reason for calling me ‪at 3:30‬ in the morning Montana!" Zoe says as she answers the phone. I cringe internally when I realise the time in Australia.

"I'm sorry I just really need to talk to someone. I've done something I shouldn't have done"

"Who did you have sex with?" Zoe asks clearly able to tell from the tone in my voice.

"My brothers friend" I whisper in case anyone is nearby "he's also married" I bite my lip as I wait for Zoe's response.

"Montana what the fuck are you thinking!? I literally have no words for you. I mean I'm pleased you pulled but did it really need to be a married man!" I can practically hear Zoe flaring her nostrils in anger. Like me she's always been against cheating "is he a footballer?" She asks.

"He's my brothers friends of course he's a footballer. He's text me to go over when I'm ready because I said I'd go over so we could talk"

"So why are you on the phone to me?! A footballer wants you and he's waiting for you. Get over there, I know morally it goes against everything but I think this is something for you to grab with both hands. Even if nothing more happens you still need to speak to him or everyone will sense the sexual tension and you won't need to tell them, they'll be able to guess" I laugh at Zoe's sudden change in attitude.

"You really think people will be able to tell?"

"100%! Get over there and get your man I say" I roll my eyes at Zoe.

"He isn't my man! I'm going over before I change my mind. Wish me luck"

"You don't need luck. Phone me at a reasonable time and let me know how it goes. Love you Arizona" I laugh hearing my nickname that only Zoe uses as we say our goodbyes. I hang up and text Jesse telling him I'll be there within thirty minutes. I walk downstairs and see everyone lying around watching TV.

"This looks like an exciting afternoon. I'm going out for a while. I don't know when I'll be back so don't worry if I'm gone a while" I announce to my still hungover family.

"Where on earth could you possibly be going?" Sam asks the confusion evident on her face.

"Just exploring. I want to get to know the area if I'm going to be moving here" I hate lying to my family but there's definitely no way they can know where I'm going.

"I can't wait to have you here permanently. Be careful while you're out though" I roll my eyes at Sam.

"I've lived in Australia without you all for years and survived I'm sure I can wander around Manchester without you needing to worry. I'll see you all when I get back" grabbing my purse and keys I start walking to Jesse's house unsure of how he'll act when I get there. Although it's only a ten minute walk I feel like it's taken forever, I guess that's what overthinking does to you. Knocking on the door I bite my lip feeling more nervous as every second passes.

"Hiya, you look beautiful. Come in, Anoushka's just in the living room" Jesse says as he opens the door.

"Thanks Jess" I smile as I follow him into the house "how's the hangover now? Did the magic forest fix it?" I ask with a slight laugh thinking about how hungover Jesse looked this morning.

"It definitely wasn't my best idea. A room full of screaming kids on a whisky induced hangover can never happen again and there was me thinking it was a good idea going there to let Anoushka run off her energy and as you can see it didn't work" I look over at Anoushka who's dancing around the room "she will need a nap though or she'll end up being ridiculously moody. Help yourself to a drink or anything while I go and put her down" I stand up and walk around the living room looking at the photos on the walls and in frames. The majority being of Anoushka and Jesse. "She's literally exhausted herself".

"I'm not surprised. You have some cute photos. I thought there'd be more of your wife though" I say noticing the lack of photos.

"She took a lot of them to LA for the apartment over there. They were mainly photos of her and Anoushka plus she spends the majority of her time in America now" Jesse explains and I find myself silently judging a woman I don't even know for spending so much time away from home and her family.

"That's a shame. You must miss her when she isn't here"

"I'm used to her being gone now it's no big deal. Come and sit down" I feel Jesse take my hand and I follow him to the sofa.

"Look Jesse about last night" I start knowing one of us has to approach the elephant in the room.

"I don't regret it Montana. I don't know what you're thinking but I definitely don't regret what happened. The only thing I regret is being drunk" I look at Jesse knowing he's waiting for me to respond. In the few seconds I have to think I realise I don't regret anything either. I feel like I should feel guilty but I absolutely don't.

"I don't regret it either. If I'm being honest I enjoyed last night. Quite a lot actually" even though I know what I'm doing is morally wrong I feel like I can't stop it. I don't know if it's the excitement or the secrecy of our situation all I know is that I can't resist Jesse. I attach my lips to Jesse's as I straddle him, kissing him as if there's no tomorrow. Within seconds I feel his hands on my hips pulling me closer. "Just so you know I've decided to stay here indefinitely" I say between kisses unable to keep the smile off my face.

"That's the best news I've heard in a long time" I feel my back hit the sofa as Jesse pins me down to kiss me again.

"I thought we were supposed to be talking" I say not that I'm interested in talking now.

"Talking can wait. I have you in my arms and you're staying here. The only thing I want to know is if you're coming to America for mid-season break with the team" I've heard my brother talk about Florida but I've never thought about going with them.

"Will there be other girls there? In fact if Sam goes I'll go. When I get back to Chris's I'll find out" I say deciding that if my family are going it's the perfect excuse for me to go as well.

"I'll get you there and you'll be wearing the number fourteen jersey"

"I'm sure we both already know I have no issue doing that" everyone knows I already have a Lingard jersey so there's no doubt about whether it would go to America with me if I end up going "I'll let you know if I can join though, hopefully it's a yes"

"There's a lot of us going to Ashley's tonight I think your brother said he'll be there. Are you coming?" Jesse asks looking at me expectantly.

"I'll be there" I agree to go over to Ashley's house, after the party last night it's my chance to get to know people more especially the wives and girlfriends plus I get to spend time with Jesse without looking suspicious. A win win situation all round.