Borrowed • Jesse Lingard

twenty eight.

"Montana!" I hear Sam shout as she walks through my front door. "Where are you?"

"Dressing room!" I shout back as I continue doing my makeup. I have two hours until I start work.

"Montana I need to ask you something" Sam says walking into my dressing room full steam ahead.

"What is it?" I have absolutely no idea what this is about.

"Did you sleep with Andreas? That's what the rumour going around is"

"What the fuck! No I didn't sleep with Andreas! Who said that?" I ask about twenty questions at once. I have no idea where this has came from or why this is a thing again.

"Chris said something had been said in the dressing room"

"I was in his bedroom a few days ago but I most definitely didn't sleep with him! Hold on" I say before calling Andreas and putting him on loudspeaker. "Pereira what the fuck is going on?"

"What are you talking about?" Andreas asks and I know he's confused.

"For some absolutely insane reason my brother thinks I slept with you!" I'm raging but at the same time I find the whole situation hilarious.

"That's news to me. We were all talking and I said you'd been over. Someone has obviously twisted it. I thought everyone knew that there was absolutely no chance of that happening"

"Me too but clearly someone isn't getting the message. Don't worry about it Andreas it's not your fault" I say. I can't blame Andreas for this. I guess no matter how much we deny that anything has happened between us, no one is going to believe that "I'll speak to you later" I say before saying my goodbyes to Andreas.

"Sorry Montana. I don't know why I believed it. I should've known it wasn't true. Would it be such a bad thing though?" I can see the look on Sam's face, she's seriously thinking about me and Andreas being a couple.

"No Sam! It's never going to happen. He's too much of a good friend, I know he's a good looking lad but I'm not the girl for him" I know it would be convenient for everyone if I jumped into a relationship with Andreas but I'm not prepared to ruin a friendship for that.

"Okay I believe you but that doesn't change the fact I think you'd make a good couple. Okay I'm done. I'll not mention it again" Sam says holding her hands up in defeat.

"It sounds pathetic but I can't see past Jesse. It's like he's imprinted on me and I hate that but I also don't want it to be any different" I say admitting to Sam how I really feel.

"I thought you were staying single? I do think you should just go for it with Jesse though. Forget holding back, you have feelings for each other you should just go for it" Sam says making me look at her. I hate how everyone knows what has gone on and everyone has an opinion. "He told me everything Montana"

"I had a feeling he might. I just don't want to jump into things too quickly" I'd love nothing more than to be in a relationship with Jesse but I don't want to rush things, not this time.

"I'm not being funny Montana but you didn't exactly take things slow the first time. Just go over there tell him how much you want him and happily ever after for Montana and Jesse"

"Sam it can't be that way this time. I need to do this properly. I jumped into it last time and look what happened"

"He was married then, he's not now. This is your perfect opportunity to go after what you want"

"No I refuse to ruin what we could have. We tried just jumping into bed with each other look what happened. If I'm doing this we're doing it properly by spending time together and going on dates. Whatever new couples do, I want to do that" I say. I'm not saying I need to be wined and dined but it would be nice to go out and about with Jesse rather than sneaking around.

"Okay but don't wait too long. We both know someone like Jesse won't be single for long" Sam says before leaving my house. Is she right? Jesse knows how I feel, do I really need to be in a relationship with him for him to know that? Realising I don't have time to think about this I finish getting ready for work. My feelings for Jesse Lingard will have to wait.     

I spend the next few hours at work completely distracted. I can't stop thinking about Jesse and being in a legit relationship with him. Sam's words play over and over in my head 'someone like Jesse won't be single for long' I can't even stomach the thought of him being with someone else. When I met him I knew he was married but the thought of him meeting someone completely new makes my stomach turn. I don't want him to be with anyone else. Call me crazy but the way I see it he's mine. I feel like we've made it clear to each other that when we're ready we'll be together. Clocking out of work I'm still unsettled. Work has dragged and there's only one place I want to go. Jesse's house.

Driving through the streets of Cheshire I'm as nervous as I was the last time I drove in this direction. I've spent long enough arguing with myself, I need to see Jesse. I need to make it clear that I want to be with him. Am I ready for this? Who knows but there's only one way I'm going to find out. Pulling up at Jesse's house I realise he'll have just got back from training. Knocking on the door I bit my lip. I've came here on a whim, he might not even want to see me. Looking down at my work uniform there's no going back now Jesse's opened the door.

"Montana? Are you okay?" Jesse asks looking at me, more than likely judging the disheveled mess that's turned up on his doorstep.

"Can we talk?" I ask. I don't even know what I'm going to say even if he lets me in.

"Of course. Come in" I watch as Jesse opens the door fully for me to follow him into his house "What's up? I didn't expect to see you"

"I didn't think I'd be coming over but I was talking to Sam and it got me thinking. In fact I've never stopped thinking about it the whole time I've been at work"

"You have my full attention" Jesse says handing me a bottle of water, I'm thankful for the distraction.

"I don't want to wait" I say not giving much away. "I don't know how you feel but Jesse I don't want to put off the inevitable any longer. Am I in the right place? I haven't got a fucking clue and I don't know if I ever will be. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone else because I couldn't stop thinking about you and now we can be together, if you wanted me of course and we're not even together" I'm aware that I'm rambling but I don't know how to get my point across without just jumping on Jesse.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"The reason I'm not in the right place is because I'm not with you. I mean I'm okay and all of that but the piece of me that is missing is you. Basically I want to be with you Jesse Lingard and if you're not ready or if you don't want me I'll completely understand I just need you to know where my head is at" I say finally saying what I've wanted to say all along. I know it was my idea to wait but now I realise that I didn't truly want to.

"Montana you have no idea how much I have wanted to hear that" I watch Jesse walking around the kitchen island towards me not saying a word. I don't know what to say "I've wanted you all along. I didn't want to wait but for you I'd wait as long as it takes" Jesse says before pulling me into a kiss. It's like someone has set off a firework display. The kiss is electric. I can't put into words how much I have missed this.

"God I love you Jesse" I barely whisper, so quiet I don't even know if Jesse can hear. Seeing the grin on his face I know he's heard me.

"I love you Montana Grace" Jesse whispers back but I hear it loud and clear. I can't keep the grin off my face "does this mean I can officially say you're my girlfriend? No sneaking around, nothing to hide from"

"If you'll have me I'd love nothing more" I say biting my lip. I can't believe this is happening.

"Stop biting your lip" Jesse says running his thumb along my bottom lip "of course I'll have you. There was never any doubt"

"This is the best day of my life. I have a boyfriend and he's the man of my dreams" I say kissing Jesse. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. This wasn't specifically why I came here and it might be soon but it feels right. I want to make the most of every minute I can be with Jesse and waiting only stops that. We have a future to look forward to and I can only promise myself that I'll do whatever it takes to make it work.