Missing You Every Step Of The Way (Bellarke)

S1 - I Need You - pt. 2

"You're okay." Clarke's handed drifted to meet Bellamy's as they sat facing each other by the tree. Dax's body was forgotten on the ground as Clarke worriedly but reassuringly looked over at Bellamy. His face was covered in blood and he was breathing way too fast as an after effect of shock. She could only imagine what was going on inside his head.

"No, I'm not," Bellamy replied quietly, his voice breaking. The pain in his heart was too overwhelming as the tears in his eyes began to run down his face. Images of his mother flashed through his mind as he stared at the ground feeling utterly hopeless. His brave front had completely crumbled to nothing in the space of 10 minutes and Clarke watched as Bellamy broke down in front of her. She listened to the way his breath hitched and realised that this was the first time he had ever shown his vulnerable side to her.

"My mother. She knew what... I had done. Who... I am." Tears ran down Bellamy's face as Clarke never took her eyes off him. Her sad eyes gazed at him, simply listening, while she continued to breathe rapidly from the agonising pain still in her abdomen. "She raised me to be better... to be good." Bellamy's voice broke as fresh tears blurred his vision. Clarke watched as Bellamy's pain appeared on his face and she wanted nothing more than to take it away. To unburden him from all the hardships in his life. She wanted to tell him that he was good, that he was better and that he had just saved her life.

"Bellamy.."

"All I do is hurt people," Bellamy interrupted, the light was gone from his eyes. He had no more left to give and just wanted it all to stop. Because of him, Octavia had been locked up. Because of him, his mother had been floated.

Because of him, Clarke had almost been killed.

"I'm a monster." Bellamy sniffed. He just wanted to give up on everything.

Clarke wasn't going to let that happen. She looked at his defeated and utterly hopeless expression before shifting her weight so that they were face to face. Within her, she found new determination to desperately try to prove him wrong.

"Hey...you saved my life today," she breathed while placing her hand over his on the ground causing Bellamy to look up at her. Tears still blurred his vision as he thought back to the danger he had put Clarke in. "And you may be a total ass half the time," she joked and watched as Bellamy's breath hitched in response to her statement. His eyes returned to the ground.

"But...," she paused gathering the courage to say the next few words. "I need you." Bellamy's head snapped up as he heard Clarke say those words. Their faces were so close that Clarke could feel Bellamy's breath against her cheek as he sniffed again. Bellamy couldn't look away as he gazed into Clarke's blue eyes.

"We need you. None of us would have survived this place if it wasn't for you," Clarke continued. She had no idea what she would do without him if he did decide to leave.

Bellamy hesitated and looked the other way. No one needed him. He just got people hurt and Clarke's breathing wasn't helping him see it any other way. Clarke's voice broke as she watched Bellamy turn away.

"You want forgiveness? Fine, I'll give it to you. You're forgiven, okay?" Clarke's eyes were desperate and full of such emotion that Bellamy saw how hard she was trying to get him out of the pit he had crawled into. Tears continued to spill down his cheeks as his mind fought with what Clarke had just said. Forgiveness. "But you can't run Bellamy. You have to come back with me. You have to face it."

Bellamy watched as Clarke's eyes pleaded for him to stay. His mind was telling him to leave but his heart knew that he had to stay; to go back to camp with Clarke and try to survive with the rest of the hundred. But he was tired of surviving and tired of facing things. Suddenly a thought occurred to him.