Missing You Every Step Of The Way (Bellarke)

S2 - This Isn't Goodbye

Here comes the final chapter of Season 2 from me guys. Hope you enjoy!

The walk back to Camp Jaha was silent, apart from the occasional cry of pain from Raven or those who'd received the bone-marrow procedure. Everyone walked with the exception of the dozen or so stretchers bearing the worst victims of the mountain which included Abby, who lay down on Marcus's orders to rest and not tend to every person in sight. 

Almost everyone had been forced to endure a walk through the food hall after the massacre since it was their one way out and the images, they knew, would be branded in their minds forever. Though now that the mountain lay desolate and eerie with the silence of death always hanging above its doors, the Sky People had no intention of returning. Not after everything they had endured. 

Bellamy and Clarke walked side-by-side at the rear with Monty just a little ways ahead of them. They didn't talk the whole way back but the silence was interspersed with a few stolen glances to make sure the other was okay. Bellamy didn't like how quiet Clarke was being but decided against making conversation. 
Jasper stayed close to the front, for reasons the three at the rear knew all too well. 

Maya.

As the gates of Camp Jaha swung open and the crowd was met with the familiar surrounds they had called home - the metallic gleam of the sun on the Ark station or the tents amassed at one corner of the camp like a field of red poppies against the sprouting ground - many breathed a sigh of relief. Familiarity washed over them and they began to file in through the gates, finally beginning to talk to one another and discuss the simple things of sleeping arrangements and food preserves, to avoid the topic of death now that it was over. 

Bellamy strode ahead a little, being one of the few people entrusted with a gun, but knew that there was no longer a threat that had a reason to attack them. One had betrayed them and the other had fought a battle they had ultimately lost. 

He met with the middle of the slow-moving mass and stood stoically by the gate as he watched the relief dawn on people's faces when they entered their home. Wick, carrying Raven, walked past him followed by a few more until the wave trickled to a few stragglers at the back, including Clarke and Monty. 

While his eyes followed Wick and Raven past the corrugated metal, Bellamy's head was clouded with thoughts he wanted to escape. Thoughts of the food hall and the bodies; thoughts of the guards struggling for breath; thoughts of Clarke's hand in his with the slow clicking of the lever that ended so many lives. He was spiralling; so he blocked it out. For once he didn't want to cry or stay frustrated at something he couldn't control, in the moment. So he stood quietly by the gate wondering what was going through the head of the person who'd endured everything he had. 

Clarke.

Something about what they had done had quietly changed something between them. There was now this life-altering, horrific thing that they had both had to endure, that only they understood the pain of and that gave Bellamy a twisted sense of comfort. They now had this burden to bear but it would not be borne alone and that brought them closer in a new way that he wouldn't have thought possible, their first day on the ground. 

Pulling the lever together after seeing the look on her face, had also meant there was no question, to Bellamy, about doing it too. For his sister's sake and for Clarke's; he'd encircled his hand over hers and gripped tightly. Even afterwards, she'd held his hand for the longest time and he still remembered the feeling of her fingertips pressing into his knuckles until they turned white. He didn't mind because it kept him from falling apart completely. Not that he didn't still feel sick to his stomach.

However feeling his gut twist at the thought, he quickly pushed it aside and turned; his eyes searching for the person occupying his thoughts. To his surprise though, he saw Monty and Clarke stood a few metres from him, embracing in a tight hug. Confusion coursed through him but was soon replaced by a new kind of unease.