The "IT" Life

Chpt 23: Life...(Final Chapter)

It's been 3 weeks since the accident and our school's mourning session and about a month and a half after since the funeral. Our school's ceremony for Tyler was a....really big one, seeing that he was #1 most famous, head quarter back and every girl's dream. Some of the freshman and sophomore chics were bawling their eyes out even more than i was and they had never even spoke to him before...they probably got a wink or two from his dreamy eyes but i mean...come on...he did that to everyone. Gena, the girl he had cheated on me with and ex cheerleader captain, left early because apparently it was too much for her. Really? what about me!?...............i've been in a relationship with him for months, twice, plus...i actually saw it happen. Me, along with Dani and Annie saw the whole thing go down...Lanter didn't mean for any of that to happen, he was the victim from the get-go anyway but............

Now everyone was pointing fingers at him and whispering about "The new kid's a freaking murderer" and "Better not bump into him too hard, he might have a gun on him." and it just pissed me off so much! NO ONE KNEW THE REAL TYLER! the crazy, cheating, obsessive, psychopathic Tyler...and no one in school might believe the story either...who cares?

At Tyler's funeral, unwanted girls had to be escorted away. They were planning on cutting themselves and letting the blood drip on his casket in the ground.....-sigh-......Tyler was no Justin freaking Bieber nor Taylor Lautner...why would someone wanna....forget it, some things just can't be explained. Tye's parents were comforted and spoken to by mine, Dani's, Tammy's and the guys...his right and left hand, Ethan and X. This didn't make things any better between Tammy and i, for all i knew it made things worse...she said it was all my fault from the start. A friendship gone down the drain. 

Annie...she was a mess as well as i was. Her brother was the one who...i don't wanna say CAUSED this but...you know what i mean. Her and her family were being neglected by Tyler's but that didnt stop Lanter from still trying to reach out to them...to sincerely apologize. They were trying to get my boyfriend executed for accidently killing their son. I....i just didnt wanna be living on earth anymore...i felt like part of this was my fault too...if not all of it. This is what i got for wanting a "better" life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sitting on my bed with my knees to my chin, my face buried within them. I hadn't left my room...house, since the funeral, hadn't spoken to anybody either. A lot had been going through my mind....

"Ash?..." Sassy called as she knocked on my door.

"Mmmm." was my nonchalant answer. She took that as invitation and opened my door and came into my room.

"Sooo, Lanter's dad just called, he said that tomorrow's Lanter's court date and it'll calm him if you're there to...speak for him...you know, as a witness." She touched my arm and i raised my head up to look at her. I couldn't find it within myself to speak the words that were in my head, so i just nodded. Sassy grabbed me and gave me a quick tight hug and left my room, closing my door again. I threw myself back on my pillows and closed my eyes shut.

"Hey Johnny...if you're listening, which i know you are, please help me or you can pass it on to the big guy up there with you, it doesn't matter...nothing feels like it matters anymore. I know this is not what you meant when you kept telling me to reach for what i want. I took it for granted, i stretched too far reaching and now i think my feet slipped. Help me get better, show me in a dream or something....-sigh- i really miss you 'JoJo circus'...and if you see Tyler up there...tell him i'm...really sorry." I whispered...a little less than a minute later, not sure if it was in my head or what but...i heard the soft deep whisper of my brother's voice saying "Have faith 'mustache'...i love you..." and a tear escaped my eyes, running down the side of my face and soaking my pillow.