Starting Over

25223

Author's Note: Brought to you by a snow day.

Clary

It's at least midnight, so the pastor should have left the church by now. I crawl out of the closet I've been hiding in and lay on the bench closest to the door, in case I need to run. I can't let myself fall asleep, only rest. Jace will wake up in a few hours to an empty house. I wonder if he'll be relieved. Maybe he couldn't in good conscious admit it, but my absence, maybe it'll be relieving for him. He'll be happy. He'll get his house back. Tears fill my eyes as I think about all of the good times we had. He's one of the only people I've let myself go with. I mean, not completely, but we had our moments of fun. And Alec. I'm going to miss him too. I really wish my child could've grown up with those two in their live. I think about Alec's letter

Alec,

I'm afraid this is goodbye my friend. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I'll never forget you.

You showed me bravery in its truest form. Having the strength to tell your story, letting yourself be vulnerable to another soul. Trusting, maybe just hoping that in sharing your past, you could help someone else's future. I hope I can tell someone my story someday, and give them the hope that you gave me.

I didn't even realize it at the time, how much your story helped me. Just knowing you got away, you survived, but more than that, you thrived and continue to thrive everyday, it fills me with hope.

Thank you for giving me that card to your mom's shelter. Without that simple act, I never would've experienced the love your family has and gives others. You are all truly special.

Take care.

Love,
Clary

I hear a noise and quickly sit up, alert. "Who's there?" a voice asks. Who could it be? The pastor went home. Another homeless person? The police? Crap! What if it's the police. "I don't care who you are but this is my flop," the voice continues. Great, someone else is already staying here.

I make sure my bag is closed and stand slowly. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize someone was already staying here," I explain. "I'll leave."

The person steps closer and I see it's a man. "You should stay for the night. I know of a way you could repay me," the man offers. So, it's gonna be like that. I've ran into a few people like this.

"Thank you, but I'll be leaving right now," I comment. The man stops smiling.

"Suit yourself," the man says.

I quietly open the door and walk outside. It's snowing lightly, but it's not too chilly tonight. I wrap my sweater around my body tighter and look for another church. I walk for a few miles but all of the churches are closed. I can't go to Jace's mom's shelter, the doctor who said I couldn't stay is there. I have a baby bump now. What about the garage to Jace's apartment? Just for tonight. I can be gone before anyone knows I was there. It's heated and since there's a key pad entry, it should he empty of homeless people. What was the code though? 25223 I head toward Jace's house.

Forty Minutes Later

I push 2 5 2 2 3 on the keypad and the garage opens. It would probably be best to lay by Jace's car, so I'm concealed. Wait, what if Jace looks for me? No, he wouldn't. I was a burden, he doesn't need that stress. He's probably enjoying his first night of freedom in....well, the support group was October 4th, so we met on the 5th. I moved in that day. It's October 29, so about three and a half weeks. He's probably forgotten about me by now. I crawl next to his car and rest my head on the door.

I hear a voice. I quickly open my eyes. Crap! I feel asleep! Ugh! Stupid idiot! I get into a running position and listen for the voice. "We'll find her," a voice says.

"We have to," a different voice replies. Oh great, two people! Shit, I'm such an idiot!

"Has mom called back yet?" the voice asks.

"It's six thirty in the morning, give her some time," the voice comments. It's six thirty. Okay, hopefully that means these two are the only ones awake. Hopefully, there going to just get in their car or cars and leave. I can sneak out and look for a place to freshen up.

"Hey, it'll be okay," a voice says and I barely hear small cries.

Poor guy, I hope he's okay. Wait, this could be my chance. If I run while there distracted, they might not be able to catch me. I sneak to the edge of Jace's car. Then, I wait to hear where they are. I only make out small cries. It's time. I stand up straight and run towards the door.

"Clary," I turn around. I...it's Jace and Alec. "Please don't run," Alec calls. Jace is just standing there looking at me. He doesn't say anything.

Jace walks toward me slowly. "Please don't leave. I...I'll do better. I know I'm not enough, but I'll try, please. I'll try, don't leave me," Jace pleas. What? What is he talking about?

"Jace," I hesitate, and our eyes meet. "You didn't do anything wrong, it was me. I don't want to burden you. You've done nothing but help me. I can't weigh you down anymore, you deserve to be happy."

"Please, I'll be better," Jace pleads. Jace, he's so....broken. I did that? Maybe, he just had a bad night.....

"Clary, please come with us and we can talk this out," Alec suggests. Should I? I don't want to be a burden, but Jace has to know it's not his fault. I nod slowly and we walk to Jace's apartment.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 2/20/19