Starting Over

Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?

Jace

"I think I'm ready to kiss too," Clary quietly replies. Holy. She actually wants to kiss me! I just....I always thought she'd want to wait or that she wouldn't be comfortable with it.

"You think or you know?" I ask nervously.

"I know Jace. I know I want to kiss you," Clary mumbles. Her cheeks are red, and she's fumbling with her fingers. I smile and grab her hands in mine, giving them a sqeeze. Her lashes fall over her eyes as she looks up at me.

Our heads move closer, tongues wettening our lips in anticipation. "Kiss me Jace," Clary mumbles. I tilt my head. Shit! Where do I put my hands? How long should I kiss her for? Like a fast kiss or a long kiss? Slow kiss or a passionate kiss? Clary smashes our lips together pulling me from my thoughts. My hands go to her waist as I place her on my lap. Her hands are clutching my head. Her lips are so soft and warm.

Clary pulls back for air, and our foreheads nuzzle each other. "That was..." Clary breathlessly begins.

"Amazing," I smirk.

"Nah, I've had better," Clary teases.

"Oh really," I reply. Clary nods. "I think I should get a second chance then." Clary seems to ponder my suggestion.

"Hmm, I guess a second chance wouldn't hurt," Clary smiles cheekily. We lean closer and this time, I kiss her first. I run my hands down her back and nestle them by her bottom. Clary pulls away blushing.

"Jace," Clary whines.

"Yes my Oxie," I smirk.

"Oxie?" Clary questions.

"Well, I need you like I need oxygen," I blush slightly. "I thought oxie would be a cute nickname."

"Okay Nitro," Clary giggles.

"What?" I deadpan.

"The atmosphere around earth is made up of mostly Nitrogen," Clary explains.

"Ohhh," I pout. "I guess my nickname isn't as good then."

"Well, actually, our bodies need oxygen for cellular respiration, so oxie works," Clary smiles cheekily.

"Okay, but Nitro is not a good nickname," I counter.

"Fine, I'll come up with something cute for you," Clary replies.

"I'm not cute. I'm manly and hot and not cute," I comment, squeezing her bottom.

"Jace," Clary blushes.

"Yes my Oxie," I respond feigning innocence.

"My...bottom is not your personal toy," Clary mumbles.

"I'm sorry love, but it's so fun to play with," I smirk.

"And to think I was going to sleep here tonight. I guess I'll just leave and take my bottom with me," Clary teases.

I throw my hand on my chest dramatically. "How could you leave me?" I ask loudly.

Clary is too busy giggling to reply. Her eyes are shining. "That's what happens to naughty boys," Clary teases.

"Fine, I'll be good," I pout.

"I uhh, I didn't bring any clothes or like a toothbrush or anything," Clary mumbles. Because when she came here, she thought she was going to see me with another women.....

"I'm sorry for all of the pain you went though because of me," I whisper quietly.

"No Jace, don't do that," Clary replies, lifting my chin so our eyes are level. "You didn't do anything wrong. There was a misunderstanding, a bad one at that, but it was no one's fault."

"I missed you and Guppie so much," I admit. "I just thought you didn't want me anymore."

"We do," Clary runs her palm across my cheek, "I do."

My muscles loosen with her touch. "We should get to bed," I mumble sleepily.

"We should," Clary replies. Except neither of us move. We just sit there basking in eachother's presence.

Clary tucks her head into my neck, trying to hide a yawn, but I feel her. "Let's go to bed," I comment. Clary nods slowly, but she doesn't move. "Do you want me to carry you?" I chuckle.

"Yes, but I'm too big," Clary whines.

"Challenge accepted," I smirk before I stand up with her in my arms. Clary lets out a squeal and her hands reach for my neck. I proceed to carry her, without difficulty, up the stairs and to the hallway. She might not want to sleep with me. I mean, I've left her for a while and maybe I'm going to have to build up trust again. I'll gladly wait if she wants...

"Do you want to sleep alone in your room?" I ask suddenly nervous.

"My head is trying to spin this right now. I've learned communication strategies from group with Alec. I need to get facts, not let my mind construct a story. So, are you asking because you don't want to sleep with me or because you're trying to be respectful?" Clary asks quietly.

"I'm trying to be respectful," I comment. "I just wanted to drag you into my room, help you get your daytime clothes off, slip you into my shirt, and cuddle with you into bed."

"How about you carry me into your room, give me one of your shirts, let me waddle to the bathroom where I can change, and then we can cuddle into bed," Clary counters. She only wants me to see her when she's clothed. Fair enough.

"Deal," I smile shaking her hand.

After Clary's finished changing, she comes into my room where I'm waiting. "Jace," Clary mumbles twiddling her fingers. Why is she nervous?

"Yes oxie," I reply.

"I just remembered that I have an ultrasound appointment tomorrow at 10," Clary explains.

"Okay?" I ask gently. I really want to go with her, but why is she so nervous? Maybe she doesn't want me to go? "Do you not want me to go with? Because if you don't, I'll respect your wishes." I try the fact asking thing she mentioned earlier.

"I do want you to go, but I know you have work and stuff," Clary mumbles. Why is she so nervous suddenly?

"I'll always make time for you and Guppie," I assure her. "Now tell me why you're really nervous."

"I'm nervous because tomorrow I can find out the gender, but I'm scared that if Bean is a boy he's going to look like....him. I'm nervous that you aren't going to say yes when I ask you my responsibility evoking question. I'm nervous I'm not going to be a good mom. I-" I cut Clary off by placing my finger on her lips.

"If Guppie is a boy, then he'll still he part of you. Anything that's even half you couldn't be bad. Plus, he'll have Alec and I, if you'll have us, to teach him how to treat ladies," I begin. "As for you being a good mom, I have no doubt that you'll be amazing. Now, what's the question you need to ask of me?"

"I can't do this tonight. Can we please just sleep and talk tomorrow," Clary replies. I nod. We climb into bed, and I pull her into my embrace. I listen for her heart best to steady before I let my eyes close.

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Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback.

Originally posted: 11/10/19