Starting Over

Hospital Visit Part 2

Author's Note: Shout out to BellaSH13. Happy 16th birthday girl! I hope you enjoy your birthday and this gift :)

Clary

I shiver as Doctor Hart or as she told me to call her, Mariah, puts the gel on my protruding stomach. I look to Jace and his eyes are glued on the monitor. He'll be such an amazing dad. I can't ask him to be there for bean though. He shouldn't have to take care of a baby that isn't his. I have no doubt any baby would be lucky to have Jace as a dad, but I can't ask that of him....

"It's a boy," Mariah smiles. No. My smile deflates briefly. My baby boy is growing inside of me. I smile at the thought.

"Can we have a second?" Jace asks. Mariah nods and leaves the room.

Jace grabs my hands and covers them with his gently. "Clary, talk to me," Jace tries. I'm an awful person. I'll love my baby, my baby boy. It's just, what if he looks like him? I'll live with a constant reminder.

"It's nothing, I'm being stupid," I reply. Jace doesn't reply. I sigh. "I'm just worried about Bean being a boy. I know I'll love him no matter what, he's already my baby boy and I love him, but what if he looks like him?"

"I can't pretend I have any idea how you're feeling right now, but I know that baby will be loved, no matter what he looks like. If he does share features with...him, then we'll get through it together. We can talk and process and I'll be there for whatever you need," Jace counters.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you. I'm nervous though. It's crazy and too much to ask of you, but I can't think of anyone else better for the job," I begin.

The door opens and Mariah comes in the room. "Sorry, if I'm interrupting. I've printed 3 pictures of the ultrasound for you," Mariah says as she hands me the pictures.

"No, not at all. Thank you so much," I comment. I'll ask him later.

"Okay, your baby looks healthy. I want to see you back in 2 weeks. You need to continue to stay on bed rest," Mariah explains. I nod.

"Thank you," I smile.

"You're welcome hun," Mariah replies. Jace helps me get up and we head to the car. I sit in silence on the way home. Home. No, it's not my home, it's Jace's.

We arrive at his house. "Is it later now?" Jace asks as we sit on the couch. Later? Oh, about moving in with him. May as well ask him and see what happens.

"Yeah, it is," I reply. "My favor from earlier actually has to do with the birth plan."

"Okay," Jace comments. "Talk to me."

"I know we just started...whatever it is that is developing between us. Just know whatever you want, I will respect and understand," I hesitate. "I have a son to think about. I have to do what's best for him."

"Are you trying to break up with me before we even start dating?" Jace blurts.

"No, the opposite really," I answer. "I want us, you and I, to raise him together. I know it's a huge responsibility. If you don't want to be tied to a kid that isn't biologically yours, I understand. If you don't want to be tied to a woman with a kid, I understand that too. I just want him to grow up feeling loved and supported and safe. So, before he's born, before I include staying at your house on the birth plan, I need to know where you're at with this."

Jace doesn't reply. I avoid looking at him. Is he mad? Angry? Confused? Thinking? My thoughts convince me to turn to look at him. Hot tears are running down his face. Maybe I was too blunt?

"Jace, honey," I coo as I pull him into my arms. "Talk to me."

"I was so sure you didn't want me to help you take care of Guppie. Earlier, I was excited when we first saw him on the ultrasound. I had to tell myself he wasn't mine. That I needed to act appropriately and not break down at the sight of him," Jace confesses as he backs out of my arms. "I think about him and you and me. I want us to be a family, but I just knew you couldn't want that. Somehow, I wasn't good enough. Maybe you wanted someone better. Maybe you wanted Alec. He's gentler and he knows what you've through first hand. He'd be more sensitive, and he's smart and nice."

"Jace, there isn't anyone else I'd want by my side. You've been there since I wandered into your mom's shelter guiding me, helping me," I confess. "I want Bean to grow up with you there to guide him and show him how to be a good man." I put my hands on his chest. "I want you and Bean and I to be a family."

"I want that too," Jace whispers. My head leans closer to Jace as his head leans toward mine like opposite ends of a magnet being pulled together by some invisible force. Our lips are almost brushing when I realize how close we are. I manage a small breath and close my eyes. I feel Jace's hands running up my back. When our lips finally meet, I open my eyes. We kiss until I have to pull away for air.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 10/13/20