Starting Over

Demons

Clary

It's February 6th today, about two weeks since I moved into Maryse's house; Jace hasn't come to visit me once. I guess he's happy with her, whoever she is. I'm a little over six months pregnant now. Maryse, Izzy, Alec, and I have had to go shopping. Also, I've been attending meetings with Alec. I'm trying to put myself together for Bean. I've been thinking about Jace whenever I have time to think. When I try to sleep, I remember how safe I felt having his arms around me. When I watch a movie, I remember messing with Jace because he always choose the snack. When I eat blueberries and pomegranates, I remember when he admitted to reading a baby book, which was so adorable and thoughtful of him....

I walk unto the kitchen to see if Maryse is making lunch. "Hi, Maryse," I greet.

"Hey dear," Maryse smiles. I can feel her hesitation.

"What?" I ask gently.

"Well, Jace hasn't come over in a while and I'm going to go over and check up on him," Maryse explains. Why would she hesitate to tell me she's visiting Jace? "Would you like to come with? I think seeing you would do him some good." Yes! I want to see him, but does he want to see me? He could've come over any day, but he hasn't.....

"I'm not sure he'd want me to," I reply.

"Please," Maryse almost pleas. Why does she want me to see him so much?

"Okay," I cave, for her.

I get some warmer clothes on and meet Maryse in the car a few minutes later.

We drive to Jace's house. What will he say when he sees me? Will she be there? Will he be happier than he was when I was there? Of course he will be. What if he really doesn't want to see me?

"We're here dear," Maryse taps my shoulder. I unbuckle my seat belt and follow Maryse to Jace's apartment.

Knock knock

There's no response. Maryse pulls out a key and unlocks the door. Has she always had that? I step inside behind her slowly. Maryse walks straight up the stairs. How does she know where he is? Maybe he's sick in his room? When we reach the top of the stairs however, she goes towards my old room. Why would he be in there?

Maryse knocks on the closed door. There's no reply. I look at Maryse questioningly and she sighs. Slowly, the door opens to reveal a dark room; the curtains are closed, the lights are off, and there's a lump in the bed.

"Jace, honey," Maryse starts gently. What's wrong with Jace?

"Please just leave me alone mom. I don't want to talk about it. About her. Please," Jace cries. Maybe he'll talk to me. We're friends....or at least we were friends.

"Jace," I whisper softly.

Jace laughs darkly, "Great now I'm hearing things." What?

"Jace, it's Clary," I try.

Suddently, Jace is silent. "I...it's really you?" Jace chokes. I hear him mumble something, but it sounds like 'Oxie.' I must be hearing things. Why would he say that?

"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong Jace?" I ask concerned. Jace sits up and looks at me without replying. "Jace, what's wrong?" Is he okay? I mean, of course he isn't okay. He's clearly in distress.....

"Was it the girl? Did she not feel the same?" I ask gently.

"What girl?" Maryse asks suddently.

Crap! They're going to knowing heard their conversation. I tense. They won't hurt me. I'm safe here. I take some deep breaths. I turn to Maryse. "The day I asked you to move in, I heard your guys' conversation. Well, not all of it I guess. Just that.....Jace is in love and he didn't want to tell me even though he promised he would, so I decided I should leave him to be happy with her. I figured I've been hindering his happiness for long enough," I explain. Jace looks mad and Maryse is silent. They're mad. I messed up again. I thought this would be better.....

"I'm sorry for listening, but I was walking to the kitchen and I overheard my name," I whisper.

Jace stands and pulls me into his arms. "It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong," Jace assures me. Maryse glares at me.

"Your mom is mad at me," I whisper in his ear. "I used her supplies and stayed with her and now she's mad because I should-"

"I'm not mad at you dear," Maryse interrupts me. She looks at Jace. She's mad at Jace? Why? He didn't do anything wrong..... "Tell her," she all but demands.

"Mom," Jace whines and his arms tighten around me as he breaths in my neck. What is he doing?

"Jonathan Christopher tell her. She's not weak. I've been keeping watch of her and she's strong, more than strong enough for you to tell her," Maryse uses her motherly tone. Jace thinks I'm weak? I knew it........ Why wouldn't he? He said what he did wouldn't effect how he saw me, but it did. He thinks I'm weak. And I am.

Jace pulls away from me. He's going to ask me to leave. He thinks I'm weak. "I know what you must be thinking Clary. I don't think you're weak. I know I am though. I've never doubted your strength, just my own," Jace assures me. He's not weak!

"You aren't weak Jace. You took me into your house when I had nowhere and you broke down my walls. That took persistence, sincerity, and strength. Not to mention you have a steady job, good home, and a family who loves you," I explain. "So, some girl doesn't feel the same. There is someone out there who's made for you. When you find her, there's no way she won't feel the same." Why am I giving him a pep talk about girls? Oh yeah, because I love him!

"Mom, could you give us a second?" Jace asks his mom. She nods and- with a bright smile on her face- exits the room, closing the door behind her.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 9/6/19