Starting Over

Revelations

Author's Note: Shout out to BellaSH13. I know this won't help the physical pain, but hopefully it helps distract you with feels....

Jace

"I don't feel bad for you! I'm trying to tell you how I feel, but you won't let me speak! You got your chance, now let me have mine!" Clary yells frustrated.

I nod slowly and she sits next to me on my bed, lacing her hand with mine. Her right hand slides to my cheek, moving my face, so it faces hers.

"I've never felt what I feel for you before. It's scary and it's hard for me. With Sebastian, I wanted someone so much. I didn't notice the small signs. I thought his possessiveness was cute and showed that he cared. I was wrong. You've shown me care and love so beautifully. You took me in when I had nowhere to go. You helped me, fed me, cared for me, and made me feel worthy. I'll be the first to admit I have trust issues, but you gently untangled them. Your arms are the safest place I've ever been." Really? She feels safest with me?

"But I'm scared," Clary pauses. She's scared of me! How? I tried to be so careful. I tried to be better. I...I listened to her and tried to make her comfortable. Ugh! She probably left to live with my mom because of me! She's just saying this to make me feel better. What if she's scared that if she doesn't reciprocate that I'll hurt her? 

"Clary, you don't have to play along with me. I've dreamed of you saying these words, but if you are only saying them because you think you have to...... Please, I can't bear hearing them pass through your beautiful lips, not if you don't mean them," I manage hoarsely, holding back tears, my head low.

"Oh Jace," Clary cries. I look up as she crashes into my arms.

"I'm sorry. No, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of dating. I'm scared of doing something wrong. I'm scared I'm not good enough for you," Clary confesses. She's not scared of me.

"Clary, we can go as slow as you feel comfortable with. Turtles could pass us, and I'd be perfectly content. We're human, so we're bound to do something wrong. If you or I do something that the other doesn't like, we can discuss it. I'm not going to stop caring about you if you make my white sock pink," I try to joke. "There isn't anyone else for me. You are the very best."

"Do you really think so?" Clary questions.

"I know so," I reply. I want her to be mine, but she probably isn't ready to date yet. I can wait.

My phone chimes. I check it and see a text from my mom.

Mom: I'm leaving, so you two have some privacy.

I quickly respond.

Me: Okay, thank you.

"My mom wanted to give us some privacy, so she left," I tell Clary.

"Have you had dinner yet?" I ask curiously.

"No," Clary comments. I nod.

"Does chicken parmesan sound good to Guppie and you?" I question.

Clary smiles fondly and rubs her belly. "Jace, quick give me your hand!" I offer my hand and she brings it to her baby bump.

There are small movements under my hand. Guppie's kicking! "Guppie's kicking," I whisper excitedly.

"I know," Clary giggles. "I think Bean wants chicken parmesan."

"Well then, chicken parmesan it is," I chuckle. "Do you want to watch a movie or something while I prepare dinner?"

"I may be six months pregnant, but that doesn't mean I can't help make dinner," Clary counters.

"Of course not," I reply. "Shall we?" I hold my arm out.

Clary giggles as she intertwines her arm in mine, "we shall."

We walk to the kitchen, me guiding Clary down the stairs. "I can walk Jace," Clary mumbles.

"I know, but," it's not my business. I'm being too pushy.... "I'm sorry," I comment.

"I wasn't serious. You don't have to apologize," Clary tries to lighten the mood.

"You and Guppie aren't under my control. I shouldn't try to make you do things," I mumble quietly.

"Jace!" Clary shouts. I look at her. "Stop being so nervous." I don't want to mess this up and I'm already messing it up by trying not to mess up...

"I can't help it," I explain. "I don't want to mess up. Now that we've acknowledged our mutual feelings, I can't do something that will make you leave again."

"Jace, I won't leave you," Clary assures me as she strokes my cheek. She says that now, but I'm expendable. "Look at me." My eyes meet hers. "I won't leave you."

"I believe you," I smile.

"Too bad. I was going to convince you, but....I guess now..." Clary trails off.

No! Why me? Focus. Guppie and Clary should eat soon. "Would you cut the veggies while I work on breading the chicken breast?" I ask. Clary nods.

I get a bowl and crack some eggs into it. Then a bowl for the parmesan breading. As I mix the flour an idea comes to me. "Clary," I smirk.

Clary turns her head to face me and I throw some flour at her. She blinks rapidly a few times. "Jonathan Christopher," she mimics my mom, "I know you didn't just get flour on me intentionally."

"And what if I did?" I ask teasingly.

"Then," Clary smiles, "this." Clary throws a huge handful of flour at me.

"You're on," I chuckle as Clary's eyes go wide.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Author's Note: Do we want to find out the gender of the baby or should it be a surprise until he or she is born?

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 10/7/19