Starting Over

Little Did You Know

Author's Note: I want to start a war by this chapter, so (BellaSH13) please no retaliation. Please tell me if it's bad........

Jace

"Well, I'm calling the baby Guppie, it'll be our special thing," I reply, slighly possessive of the name.

"I'll call the baby Bean and Uncle Alec, you can call the baby Bug, that way everyone has a special name," Clary says. Uncle Alec? Maybe she just doesn't think of me like that? I'd love to be a part of that baby's life. I mean, I would, but if she doesn't want me to...... I smile, closing my thoughts.

"I'm going to order some dinner. Last chance for an option," I comment.

Clary rubs her belly. "Any ideas Bean?" Clary asks teasingly. "What's that...you want....pizza, okay."

Clary turns to me. "Bean said chicken bacon pizza," Clary replies.

"Pizza it is!" I declare jokingly. I get my phone out while Clary goes upstairs, probably getting changed.

Thirty minutes later

Knock knock

"Clary, the pizza is here," I say though the door.

"I'll be right down," Clary replies. I turn and go to get some plates for the pizza.

Clary comes down a few minutes later and sits at the table. I pass her a plate with a slice and we dig in. "If you ever need me to...get lost for a while, so you can have a date or something, just say the word and how long you want me gone for," Clary offers. A piece of chicken gets lodged in my throat, and I involuntarily cough it up.

"I'm sorry, what?" I manage through coughs.

"If ya, you know, want some alone time with a girl to do....stuff," Clary mumbles. "Seb-you have needs." What? Where is this coming from? I have needs. Why does she think so lowly of me? Maybe even more importantly, what made her think like that?

"I don't, that won't be necessary," I manage. Clary nods as we finish up dinner in silence. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and Clary cleans off the stove, counter, etc. Not a word is spoken. I don't know what do say. What do I even say? The only woman I want to spend time with is Clary. She's funny and makes me happy. From the smile on her face when we play and talk, I think I make her happy too. Wait, what? No, I can't tell her that. She'd freak, probably think I want sex and then close herself off again. Just when we're making progress, I can't do that. I go to my room, but as my head hits my pillow, my thoughts of Clary keep me awake.

The Next Morning

I don't hear anything when my eyes open. What? There's no Clary showering and lightly singing to a song. There are no noises from downstairs. I sit up in a flash and rush to her room. I open her door to find it empty, just as I had it before Clary came to live with me. What's happening? That wasn't a dream, was it. It couldn't have been. I see two envelopes sitting on the bed. One says Alec and the other says Jace. I reach for the Jace one and tear it open, being careful not to damage the letter.

Jace,

By the time you get this, I'll be gone. I know words can't express how thankful I am for all you've done for me. I realized something that night at the Halloween party, I burden you a lot. I stress you. You are living with more problems because of me. The best way I could think of to help you is to take your biggest problem out of the equation, me.

I have a lead on a job and I'll stay in churches until I can get an apartment. I have a plan, but I'll never forget you. You helped me when no one else would. You reminded me what it feels like to be cared for, but in that care, I realized how much of a burden the baby and I are. I was thinking about how even your morning routine has been messed up because of the baby and I. Not to mention your food, heating, clothes, and most highly impacted, your social life. You probably don't get many girls once you tell them your living with a pregnant girl.

Anyways, I wanted to say thank you for reminding me what if feels like to be cared about.

Love,

Clary

I plop on Clary's bed, the letter falls out of my hand, but I don't have the strength to care. I manage to grasp my phone. Luckily, Alec is the first contact. I hit the call button, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything.

Ringggggggg

"Jace, what's up?"

"C...Clary, she's gone. I lost her."

"What? I'm on my way, where are you?"

"Her room."

The dial tone comes up as I sit there. How did this happen? How did I miss the signs? How will I find her? Is she cold? Tired? Scared? Safe? I hear footsteps approach.

"Jace."

"Jace, it's Alec."

"Jace."

I don't feel, but rather see Alec put his hand on my shoulder. "S...she left me."

"Oh, Jace, I..." Alec sees his letter. He looks at me, almost as if he's asking permission, and I nod. He carefully opens the letter and I watch as tears fall from his eyes.

"We'll get her back," Alec manages through shudders. That snaps me out of whatever I was in.

"How?" I ask, my voice rough.

"With my connections, your connections, and mom's connections, there's no where she could've gone that we won't find her. Plus, she's almost three months pregnant, she won't exactly blend in," Alec explains.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 2/18/19