Starting Over

Getting To Know You

Author's Note: Shout out to isabelle_lightwood22. I hope you like what I did with the song request. Merry Christmas! If you're not into that, Happy Winter!

Clary

"How old are you?" I ask curiously.

"I'm 27," Jace replies. "How old are you?"

"I'm 24," I answer.

Knock knock

"I'll be right back," Jace says. I nod. I hear him go down the stairs. The door opens.

"Hey, come on in," Jace greets. I should stay up here. He probably doesn't want anyone to know about me.....

I find my notebook and start doodling. A few minutes later, I hear footsteps. "Which ones the bathroom again?" I hear a voice say. That voice....it sounds familiar.

"Second one on the left," Jace hollers. Crap! That's this room! I grab my sketchbook, anything that seems out of place, and slide under the bed. I hear the door open.

"This is a bedroom," the voice calls back. I hear footsteps approach quickly.

"I'm sorry Clary," I hear Jace by the door. "Clary." Does he want me to come out? Why would he want his friend to know I'm here? Maybe this is a test? I don't move.

"The bathroom is the first door, sorry," Jace tells his friend. I hear footsteps receding and then the door closes.

"Clary, it's okay. Where are you?" Jace asks gently. I slowly slide out from under the bed.

"Here," I whisper.

"What were you doing under the bed?" Jace asks confused.

"I heard someone coming," I lower my head and play with my fingers. "I....I figured you wouldn't want them to see me."

Jace steps closer to me. "Clary, look at me," Jace gently requests. I bring my eyes to his. "You don't have to be ashamed. I'm not ashamed of you."

"Jace," I hesitate, "You can't know that. You don't know," Don't tell him! He can't know! No one needs to know! "what I've done or had to do."

"Jace, wh- Who?" Jace's friend walks into the room.

"Clary, this is my brother Alec," Jace introduces us. "Alec, this is my friend Clary."

I take time to look at Alec. H....he's the guy from that support group. I take a step away from them. "What is this?" I ask nervously. "Is this some game to lure poor girls into your trap?"

Jace looks at me blankly. "Clary, what are you talking about?" Jace asks.

"Clary, it's nice to see you again," Alec comments.

"You've met?" Jace asks curiously.

"Don't play coy with me. I see how it goes. I go to the support group, Alec gives me your mom's shelter information, knowing I'm homeless, and then Jace comes in and offers me his guest room. So now, you have me cornered in a room on the second floor of an apartment," I explain. Shit! I'm so screwed! I was trying to protect my baby and all I've done is doom him or her....

My body trembles slightly. "Clary, you're safe here. No one will hurt you," Jace gently reminds me. Jace slowly steps closer to me. W....what is he doing? Why is he coming toward me? I back up until my feet hit the end of the bed. Way to make it easy for them! Ugh! I'm such an idiot. "Clary, calm down. It's okay. Just breathe."

"Jace, you need to step away from her," Alec warns. Please step away. Please step away. Please step away. Please step away.

"I've dealt with panic attacks before Alec," Jace responds.

"Have you dealt with an abused person having a panic attack? The only thing you're doing by walking closer to her is scaring her," Alec explains. Jace starts receding. He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to hurt me.

"Clary, do you want us to leave you alone?" Alec asks gently. "Or we could all go downstairs and get some warm hot chocolate? Tea? Coffee?" I....I don't want to be alone. Hot chocolate, it's been so long. But, I don't want to be uglier than I am. Sebastian said I shouldn't eat fattening stuff.

"I w...want to go downstairs, but maybe just have some water please," I reply.

"Clary, it's okay to have anything you want here. If you need anything, Jace will get it for you. If he doesn't, just call me and I'll help you," Alec responds.

"I don't want to get uglier," I mumble.

"What?" Jace asks gently.

"Eating fattening foods will make me uglier. I've been eating so much. Then, I had those fries and part of a shake. I shouldn't eat anything for a few days," I explain.

"First of all, you're eating for two, so it's okay to eat more than usual. Secondly, you are in no way ugly," Jace firmly replies. "Third of all, you need to be eating at least two meals a day and snacks." I won't be able to afford that....

"Jace, can you give Clary and I moment," Alec requests.

"Are you okay with that Clary?" Jace asks seriously. No? Yes? I mean, either way I can get hurt. May as well not be a problem. I nod. "Okay, I'll be downstairs. Please come down when you're done and well have some warm hot chocolate."

Alec leans on the edge of the door frame while I sit on my bed. "Clary, when you asked me about why you should feel safe telling me your story, do you remember what I said?" Alec asks gently.

"You said that everyone there had experienced abuse," I echo.

"Indeed," Alec responds. "I know it's not something that victims like to talk about, but I think it's important for you to know I'm not just some guy who took an abuse class. So, if you don't mind, before we go downstairs, I'd like to tell you about my experience."

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I do and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 12/25/18