Life Isn't Fair

35

"No. Absolutely not." Rick says, pulling me up short as his facial expression makes his face look punchable. "He's my son. I need to go after him. And you obviously aren't doing anything about it." I snap at him, his eyes becoming colder towards me every second. "I'm the Leader of this damn community, and if I say you aren't going then you aren't going." Rick is pissing me off, and I have no choice but to reply slyly, "I'm the Co-Leader. So technically I can make decisions too. See you later when I find Dallas." I smirk and walk away. "Get your ass back in here!" He yells, slamming his fist on the table. "I'm going to find my son! Give me time!" I slam the door to his house as I walk towards the gates. Of course he would say no, but if I'm Co-Leader I can make decisions too. He acts like I can't do anything without getting hurt or worse, Which is not true. I climb the guard post, look up at the orange and yellow swirls painted into the sky, and begin to bite my nails. I don't know what has gotten into me, but if I want to go I'm gonna have to play nice. I sigh, and breathe in deeply, almost not hearing the other person climb right next to me. "I shouldn't have been angry with you. I understand what you're going through, because if it were Carl I'd do the same thing. I'm sorry, Skylar. I just don't want to see you get hurt, or worse." Rick says, placing his hand on my shoulder as an act of trust. I turn around and instantly throw my arms around his neck, regretting ever thinking the way I was.  "I'm sorry. He's just so important to me. I'm keeping a promise by keeping him alive, safe, and raising him well." I explain to Rick, who nods at what I said. "It's hard. Losing a child to bad people and or walkers." Rick says, leaving me with only one thing to respond with. "That's why all of those people are going to die. At my hands." I look into Rick's eyes and they fill with admiration. "That can be arranged." He replies.
And it was, I was going to kill these people. We were creating a plan, one that was worthy to be told to the other survivors if they liked it as well. This time, I wasn't going alone. And regardless of the rule that I can't bring anyone else I'd say what we're doing is risky. But Rick is all in and so am I. We're doing it right this time. We pack up a lot of weapons, some gas bombs and a few lethal ones in which we're going to have to be careful handling. We do this a couple hours early, just so we have everything in order when we leave. Me and Rick go off to a small area built for training, and I practice taking punches at Rick, dodging, and sometimes getting knocked to my feet. I take a small blow to the cheek by accident, but now it is swollen along with my knuckles. "I'm so sorry." Rick says as he starts to put all of the things we used back in their correct places. "Don't worry. If anything, it makes me look more badass." I smirk. "It sure does." Rick chuckles. My fingers reach up and trace my cheek, the stinging sensation causing me to release a hiss. But the mission on mind made me forget all about it. "It's time to go!" Daryl shouts over at us. "You got it, Boss." I chuckle. I jog over to the car that I'm driving in, and climb into the drivers seat. Maggie, Glenn, and Daryl sit in the back. Rick sits up front, with me. I pull the shift into drive, and pull out of the gates. We were all pretty protected by thick coats and boots with nice socks to follow, it was the middle of December. I gripped the steering wheel, hard, causing my knuckles to turn white. My eyebrows were furrowed, my eyes hooded, and an ache for Dallas suddenly hit me. I breathed out heavily, letting my face relax, and a sad expression crossed my features. Daryl seems to notice as he was studying my face very closely, and reaches up to put a hand on my shoulder. I look back at him, and quickly turn my attention back to the road. "You good?" He says aloud, causing Rick to glance over at me. They were all waiting for my response now; the way they all held worried expressions about me caused me to doubt if I should say I'm fine. "I'm good." I lie, and Daryl catches it. "No, because if you were, you wouldn't be so quiet." He says. "I said I'm fine." I snap back, in a low tone, and he rolls his eyes at me and retracts his hand. Rick shakes his head in annoyance, and rubs his face. "We'll find him. It just takes time." Glenn says, calming me down just a bit with his smooth voice. "And what's gonna happen when one of us dies? What about Bella? Carl? Alexandria?" Maggie asks, and waves her hand dismissing my behavior. "You don't think that I know that all of us going is taking a huge risk? Trust me, I tried doing this myself when no one else was willing to, and look where that got me." I spit back. "Calm down. We'll figure this out when we cross that bridge, Okay?" Rick says gently, careful not to set me off. I am a ticking time bomb, and everyone knows It. Now it's only a matter of time before something makes me tick and I blow up. Which isn't a good thing to deal with in situations like this. But you have to be willing to take that risk to get it done. "This is the exact reason I thought this wasn't a good idea." Daryl mumbles from the back in a low tone, but just enough for my ears to catch it. I roll my eyes, ease up, and instantly notice the car becoming lighter. Everyone was depending me, so I had to act calm and collected or everyone would be on edge. And I can't have that. How will I live with myself if any of them die? I need to make sure that doesn't happen. Especially because some of us have children we need to get back home to.  "I'm sorry if I acted childish," I say, actually feeling bad about it. "But we all got jobs to do. And you guys know that." I finish. "That's exactly what Daddy used to say." Maggie sighs. I huff a breath of air, relieved at the fact that I still can. "We're not dead, yet." Rick glances over at me for my approval, and I nod gently, only catching his attention.
We take turns driving, everyone circulating to different spots in the car, and when it gets dark enough we stop at the side of the road. "We will continue on foot. Everyone has had a nice rest, so this should be easy." Rick says as he surveys his gun, checking the bullet count. I pull my machete from my belt, grab my backpack of supplies, and open the car door. A walker gets kicked back into the grass, and I hop out of the car to stab it through its brain. Only, I didn't realize the sudden slant to the earth, and I topple right on top of it. It goes to bite me, and I struggle for a good minute before I wrestle the knife from the side of me and I stab the walker. "Good job hot-shot." Glenn comments as he hops out of the car behind me. When I stand, sprinkled in a small amount of blood, I catch everyone's attention. "We gotta go. This way. Rick, you go behind me, Glenn and Maggie after Rick, and Daryl can be last as he is the Hunter." I nod in their direction and turn to run into the trees. The sound of the metal clanging from all of our packs keeps me distracted, and I look behind me often at the noise, keeping myself awake and aware. I put my hand up, signaling everyone to stop walking, because I heard a walker a good twenty feet away. The soft snap of a twig causes me to whip around with my gun pointed and my eyes wide, the others instantly jumping up along with me. When I see a small horde of walkers coming our way, I fling my wrist forward and whisper for them to continue following me. Simultaneously enough, everyone moves at the same time, footsteps conjoining into one simple sound. My gun is pointed towards the ground with my right hand, and my left is swatting twigs out of the way from hitting my face. A few have caught, and a fresh stream of blood slightly falls down my forehead. It isn't that serious, but it still makes me a small bit dizzy. I stop in front of a bush, peeking over it just a little and then looking down and around me. Everyone had confusing looks on their faces, and I explained what I was doing. "We need to hide our stuff, okay?" I whispered. Rick nodded, and put his stuff into the small hold that I dug with my hands. "What? What if we need this?" Maggie asks sharply, and my eyes snap up at her. "Just do what I say, I know what I'm doing." I roll my eyes and grab a small medical kit from my backpack just in case, and shove it into my holster even though I made sure to tie it around my belt, securely. I grab a few other items along with my weapons and gesture everyone forward with my hand. If they know what they're doing, then this should be easy. Hell, I don't even know what I'm doing myself. I'm just making stuff up as I go, hoping they don't notice. But I'm sure Rick does. The way he squints his eyes at me as if he knows I'm doing something risky; it's like him saying out loud that he knows what I'm trying to accomplish. Me and him know each other from head to toe, so I know his ways and he knows mine. And he's letting me lead. Odd, since I thought he didn't trust me since yesterday. But oh well. It didn't matter, he was letting me be the leader for a day, and I was loving it. Making the tough calls and hard decisions is good for a change, going after my son is a big risk, but it needs to be done and I'm the perfect person for the job. As we get to the area where the forest floor ends and begins in concrete, I stop and crouch in a berry bush thick enough to conceal us. I cocked my head to the side, surveying the area. I know Rick was doing the same. Daryl grunts, and moves ahead of me, ducking under the steel that framed the top part of an abandoned fence. Maggie silently calls for him, but he continues until he is blocked by a wall. He hides behind it, and continuously glances over at our small group gathered behind a bush. We probably looked ridiculous. He motions us one at a time, Glenn going first, Maggie second, and me and Rick last. I motion for Rick to go first, but he pushes me out into the open, forcing me to go before him. I'll scold him about it later. I run behind Maggie, and tap my gun, showing Daryl I wanted to be in the front. He gladly let me switch positions with him, and he insisted on guarding the back. Rick decided to come behind me, and it was seriously ticking me off by what he did a few moments ago. I glance back once before I turn the corner, and hear the moans of the walkers just as I slam into the wall to be unseen. It hurts my shoulder, but I'm not one to complain in situations like this. We hug the wall until we come to a few stacked tires, crouching slowly and very carefully making sure nothing sees or hears us. I turn back to the crew who is depending on me at this moment. I began to whisper. "Me and Daryl will go sweep the perimeter around the building, Rick can be lookout here, and Maggie and Glenn can be snipers on either side of wherever they have my son. Got it? Yes. Let's go." Before I can leave, Rick grabs my arm and pulls me into a tight hug. "This might be the last time I see you. Be careful, please." Rick pleads, and I nod my head. I pull away quickly, and look around, scanning the area with my eyes before choosing a small green bush on the other side of the wall to conceal myself in. I run and slide into the hiding spot, hopefully not attracting anything or anyone. My breath hitches quietly when I hear the walker beside me, and I grab my knife from my holster. It gets to me one second before I can handle, and it pushes me over with its teeth just inches from my neck. I drop the knife, and I start to struggle as the walker gets closer to its next meal. Next thing I know, an arrow is lodged into the head of the beast attempting to kill me. I silently thank Daryl, and back up into the bushes again. I stand to me feet, searching the area until it seems clear, and making a run for it. I run for about thirty seconds before I roll and end up behind a stranded car. I have just enough time before the bullets fly.