Life Isn't Fair

34

That night, Bella was snuggling into the extra bed we had moved into their room, and I can tell she loved having her own, comfortable bed after all of this time. As soon as Bella was asleep I walked down the stairs and to the kitchen, to get some water. "Today has been a hell of a day." I chuckle. "It sure has." Aiden says as he steps beside me and leans against the countertop. "How are you? Did you get hurt when you were out there?" He makes me look at him, putting his hand on my chin and turning my head. "What happened out there?" He says softly, scanning my face with his pretty eyes and thick lashes. He looks concerned, almost as though I was his and he didn't want me to get hurt. He comes closer, I put down the cup of water on the counter, and lean against the island in the middle of the kitchen. He leans in, and at the last second I turn my face to the side, making him kiss my cheek instead. I cough, and look back up at him. He looks hurt, rejected, and he lets go of me completely. "I'm sorry-'' he cuts me off, and nods away from me. "No, I get it. Too soon." He chuckles lightly, but I can see that he was upset. "Hey." I grab his arm, and he looks back at me, his lips pursing and his eyes looking everywhere but me. I stood on my tip toes and gave him a soft, gently kiss, opening my eyes when I let go of him and stepped away to check on Bella. He inhaled, and I could just see him smiling behind me. When I get to Bella's and Dallas' room, I put my hand on the door and rest my forehead on the doorframe, listening to the most beautiful, small, whispering voice I've ever heard. She was singing. And I heard it. My daughter usually never sung, even when she was little and I didn't know she was capable of sounding like the light melody in the breeze of a mountain rain. Her voice caught out to me, making me stop breathing just to hear her. She had a talent, one that I didn't even know of, and she sounded like an angel. I let out a sigh, and continued to listen in on her until I heard footsteps from the other side of the door. I backed away, and little Bella peeked from around the door when she opened it. "Mommy? What are you doing?" She smiles at me, and my heart warms up. "I came to check on you, my sweet girl." I bend down, and back up until I'm leaning against the stair's railing. I sit there, and when she joins me she has the most sweetest look on her face. "Where is my brother?" She asks me, the small noise bringing tears to my eyes. "He's- he's out there, taken by some awful people, and I am going to rescue him." I breathe in, and a tear slips down my cheek. "That's so brave of you." She says, causing more tears to fall down my face. Now, I wish Aiden was here to comfort me. She cuddles her small frame into me, and I cry into her hair. She doesn't seem to mind, she wanted to comfort her mother. My eyes flutter open, and I look at her, now asleep. I carefully pick her up, and push the door open with my foot. I find her small princess bed, and I lay her down on it. I pull the blanket over her small shoulders, and I make sure that she is comfortable. "Goodnight, Bella." I whisper. I back away ever so slowly, and shut the door when I'm finally stepped out of the room. I turn around just in time to find Aiden, and his arms opened into a big hug. My face softens, and my eyes fill with tears. He's stood in his doorway, and waiting for me to come over to him. And I do. I push my arms around his waist, and breathe in as long as I can, before breathing out and letting a small sob escape past my lips. "We will find him. We will. What you did over these past couple days was dangerous. I don't know what we'd do if we lost you." In other words, he doesn't know what he'd do without me. It warmed my heart, and I instantly started to fall in love with Aiden. "Thank you. I'm glad you've said that, no one else has." I reply. "I'm just glad you're okay." He comments and hugs me tighter. "Me too." I say quietly. He lets go, and scans my face for any sign of regret. But there is none. I stand there silently as he watched me. "Don't ever leave like that again, Skylar." Aiden said. "I won't." I reply short-ended, and he nods. He leans down and places his lips on my forehead, leaving a small kiss to show me how much he cares. I hug him one last time, and walk away to my room where I would be crying the rest of the night as soon as I get into bed.
The next morning as I sit up I have the biggest ache in my shoulder and neck. I slept wrong, tossing and turning all night and when I looked back at my pillow, it was soaked in tears. I rub my eyes, throw the blanket off of my body and stalk my way over to my vanity, where a nice size mirror sits, waiting for me to asses the damage of my face and hair. I sit down in the chair, and I gasp at the sight of myself. Face red, left over tear streaks from the night before, mattered hair, and a runny nose. I grabbed the brush on the left side of the vanity next to me, and tried to brush through my knotted hair, but every time I stroked the sides of my head I felt a tug and pain. After I unsuccessfully brushed through all of the knots and strands that were being difficult, I wiped my face with a damp wash cloth and stood up to find some clothes. I just lazily walk over to my dresser, and open the first drawer. I spot a pair of pale blue pants on the top, a thick green sweater that I'm great full for because it's getting cold outside again, and find my ankle-high combat boots. My hands go to my hair, and My fingers comb through it in a stressed manner. My sleepy posture and my slow feet definitely show it. As I walk down the last steps of the stairway, I almost trip. Aiden is right behind me and grabs my arms, preventing me from falling any further. "I didn't know you were awake." I say, yawning. "Yeah. I heard footsteps and saw you come out of your room and down the stairs, I was coming out anyway to make breakfast for the three of us." Aiden smiles weakly. I run my eyes as Aiden lets go of me, and regain my balance. I slowly move my feet to the kitchen island, and lean my forehead against the cold marble of the counter. "Thanks for making Breakfast." I say ahead of time, knowing I'm just going to go back into my room and lay down after I eat and probably fall back asleep. My mind is fuzzy as well as my thoughts, I can't seem to think straight right now and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm sick? But that would mean a danger for Bella, Aiden, and possibly Dallas. Dallas! I was so worried about if I had gotten sick that I forgot that we were supposed to go today to rescue Dallas. I stand up from the stool of the island, walk away leaving Aiden confused as to where I was going, and almost sprint into my room. "Damn it!" I hiss, annoyed at myself for being so naive, and thinking about myself when a child is out there being tormented. My child. My blood boils, and even though I don't feel good I'm still going. So, in order to do what I want to do, which is to go save Dallas, I have to pretend not to be sick. Because if Rick sees me like that, he will prevent me from going. I clear my throat as best as I can and blow my nose for a straight 30-second mark, brush my hair again, splash and rub my face with water, and wipe my face with a soft cloth. I look somewhat better, I just have to act like it. I straighten my posture and walk down the stairs, but I cough once grabbing Aiden's attention. "Where'd you go? Did you go to clean up?" He asks, eyeing me and my outfit. "Yeah. I just washed my face and some stuff." I smile a small smile, and my left eye twitches. "What happened to your eye?" Aiden asks. I shake my head, and the second my fingers caress my left eye it feels like it's on fire. "It's all swollen. What did you do to it?" He drops everything he was doing and comes over to me, curious as to what had caused the redness of my eyelid. "I don't know, to be honest. But I didn't notice until now. I was too busy worrying about how I was going to tri-'' I stop myself just in time, and shut my eyes as Aiden examined it with his delicate fingers. "What? Finish your sentence." Aiden says. "Sorry, I just got scared when you touched my eye and lost my train of thought." I lied. What a stupid excuse, and unbelievable one, but it's not like Aiden would catch it. "Oh, okay." He lets it go, and as far as I'm concerned he doesn't know that I'm sick. I think I have the flu. I shouldn't have let him get so close to me like that. I cough, off guard, and Aiden looks back at me. "I knew something was wrong. Are you sick?" He asks, going back to making breakfast. "Please don't say anything to Rick. Please?" I ask, my voice sounding shaky. "You know I have to. I can't let you go out there like that." He comments. I know he is only concerned, but I don't know how I feel about what he just said. "This is my son we're talking about. Someone I've been with before you even got here." I conclude. "Ouch." He responds. "I'm sorry. But if anyone is going out there to save him, it will be me." I say, fiercely, almost putting him in his place when he says something that makes me take a step back. "And me. You aren't going alone. Not like last time. It almost seems as though whenever you sneak out you come back with some kind of injury." I look him up and down, contemplating whether I should shoot him or laugh. "Are you saying I can't handle myself?" I chuckle, and in return he scoffs at me. "Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Skylar, you're always hurt when you get back here. And I'm not saying you're weak or anything like that, but maybe you need to take a break." He says gently, trying not to set off a bomb inside of me. But it doesn't work. "I went off, by myself, alone, to rescue a child that is probably about to be killed and all you guys care about is what's happening here! You don't understand how it feels, Aiden!" My voice was rising in anger, I wasn't having any of it. "I can't just sit around while Dallas is alone." My voice cracks, and I find myself looking at Aiden, who seems to be pissed about what I was saying. "None of us are! You're forgetting that, Skylar. There is a huge herd of walkers that we have to deal with! You're only concern is that damn child who's probably already dead!" He snaps, and the second he sees the expression on my face he tries to apologize. "Wait- I didn't mean it like that-'' he goes to grab me, but I snap at him, hissing. "Get the hell away from me." My voice must've gone three octaves lower, because he backs off and puts his hands up in defense at my threatening tone. "Don't you dare say that." My voice was still low, and I probably looked like a predator ready to pounce on prey. "Calm down." Aiden says, looking at me straight in my face. "I don't have to. You can't tell me what to do." I whip around and slowly walk to the stairs. "And don't try to look for me." I say. I can tell he's confused by the shuffling of his feet, and the sound of his heavy breathing. He grabs my arm, and pulls me towards him. "You can't go alone." He says. I struggle and flail my arms and legs as his grip is tight on my body, But he still holds on to me. For two minutes, I continue to squirm in his arms until I give up and tears rush down my face. "Why would you say that to- me, Aiden?" I sob. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was wrong until I repeated what I said in my head. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that." He says quietly. "Yes I do. I don't deserve anyone. Happiness. A family. Anything. I've done horrible things and I can't help in time. I can never help anyone in time." I rant, and another soft sob escapes my lips. "You need to go talk to Rick. He will help maybe." Aiden says and lets go of me. "Okay." I reply shortly, and look away. "Watch the girl." I mumble on my way to the door. "I will." Aiden replies.