euphoria | knj √

3: fire.

"It's okay to just live because we're still young. Who do you think you are to say otherwise? Stop comparing, I'm only human."

0:00 |───────── 3:23

|◁ II ▷|

Rein had the sudden realization that she was squandering her life away.

She had spent a solid week cooped up in her room, writing some lyrics here and there, listening to things she had worked on in the studio before arriving in Seoul. 

Every day felt the same, time refusing to budge in her little puke-green hotel room. Day in and day out, she was in bed, wallowing in her own filth. (not literally, of course. Filth pertaining to her motivation, energy, and hygiene she was sorely lacking at the time.)

Mostly though, she was going through another bout of depression, one that struck her every time she was about to make an album or when she released one. The certain feeling of doom that crept up on her every time was unmistakable. Sometimes she forgot about it, but it was always there, ready to knock her down just as tranquility made itself at home. 

Rein vaguely remembered a time when she was the complete opposite of the ball of anxiety she was now, when the first word that came to people's minds when they thought of her was "chill". It felt like so long ago, when she was just starting out, naive, not having worked on her music career for years by then. She knew at the time that it was pointless to let weights hold her spirit down when there was just so much to do in the world. 

But as her life became more guarded, she too became more guarded. Cautious. Though she still had a real passion for music as she hadn't burnt out (yet), she forced herself to harden her heart and focus on one thing which she promised she would stick to for the duration of the process; make the album, meet her fans, and get her fucking money.

BRRRRRING. BRRRRRING.

Her manager's sudden ringtone was harsh, like pots clanging inches from her ears. She stirred from her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Oh my fuck..." It was 6:14 AM. She groaned and mentally braced herself before answering the phone.

"Yes?" she mumbled.

"Did you just wake up? Ms. Jones, as a profe-"

"Any news on the contract?" Rein countered. There was a pause on the other end. She waited with bated breath for the response. It seemed like an eternity before the woman said anything.

"I'll be at your hotel room in five minutes. The security guards will let me in, so don't be doing anything you would not want me to see." Rein could practically hear the smile in her voice.

What would I be doing exactly? 

"I got it, didn't I?" she whispered. Ms. Cho chuckled.

"I'll be there shortly." Click. She hung up, and Rein was left alone for a few minutes.

She was happy, if that was even in question. Elated, even; this would change her life for the better. But the knot in her stomach grew bigger the more she thought about meeting the people she would be working with. 

Sensations. Stars. The biggest names in Korea. Hell, the whole world, even. Sure, she didn't know all of their names, and probably couldn't tell a few of their faces apart even on a good day, but they were famous, nonetheless.