euphoria | knj √

27: mikrokosmos.

"You got me, I dream while looking at you, I got you. Inside those pitch-black nights, the lights we saw in each other, were saying the same thing."

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The loneliest Christmas of Rein's life was spent inside her hotel room with nothing but her guilty conscience. Yoongi and Namjoon did her the service of meeting her at the nearby bar after the fight, in which she mostly babbled incoherent words while Namjoon secretly watered down her drinks.

His shared side-glances didn't go past her unnoticed, but she said nothing and kept up her ignorant front throughout.

"You're saying you don't have any Christmas plans?" Yoongi asked at one point, cutting off Rein's half-buzzed pity party.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" she said a little too loudly, and she grimaced into her drink as the attention of a few of the people there gravitated towards her. The boys said nothing as she tried to think of the right words.

She elaborated, "I'm alone here", looking up at the two boys with a forced smile. "Excluding you guys, of course."

"Well, we'll have to just make some plans, won't we?" Namjoon said. Rein furrowed her eyebrows.

"Aren't you, like, on vacation for Christmas, or something?" Yoongi stifled his laughter by drinking out of his bottle.

"Uh... We don't really... Have vacation," Namjoon attempted to explain, a small smile blooming on his face, though it never reached his eyes.

"Oh, I totally know that's not true," Rein said. "According to a standard contract, each person must have-"

"At least fifteen days annually for personal recreation. Yes, I read the contract, too. But, Yoongi and I don't rest during that time. We stay on that grind, you know?" Namjoon said with a shrug.

"Well, that sounds honestly gross. You'll be as miserable as I am, I guess," she groaned. To her surprise, however, Namjoon only shook his head.

"You won't be lonely for Christmas. I promise you that." She had looked at Yoongi for confirmation, only to be met with an equally confused expression.

That was close to a week ago, and Christmas presented itself as a gift Rein wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. She didn't expect Namjoon or Yoongi to make plans with her that day, but she had let wishful thinking consume her, even going as far as to get him a gift in hopes of meeting him.

There was no call from her mother as expected. The cold war had begun once again, and Rein couldn't be bothered to be the one to end it.

The window was a blinding white, thick with heavy snowfall. Beyond it, she could make out the people milling about with their friends, the ones that didn't spend time with their family on the holiday. Snow piled up in grey mounds at the end of each block as street cleaners rid the sidewalks of the impurity, in fear of ruining numerous suede shoes of the citizens of Gangnam.

Everything about it reminded her of Colorado, how much she loved and sought the solitude it held. Her thoughts and mind were alone in the cabin, something she could never dream of getting in LA.

But this time, she didn't want to be alone.

Why do I have to be alone on Christmas of all days?

She tried her best to occupy herself with whatever she could find around the hotel. Studying Korean, listening to music, hell, even going through the bits of choreography from the music video she still remembered, but nothing did the trick. Everything reminded her of the fact that she was a fish out of water, not belonging in the cage she called a room. It was the poor mockery of a Christmas wonderland that she was so promised in the states, and maybe if she had went back to Austin she wouldn't be here-