I Guess I'm Sorry [S.M]

Chapter 37

Shawn's POV

I woke up before Arya the day after we came home. I walked out and made some coffee. I brought it with me out on the balcony and sat there in silence, just the familiar city sounds interrupting my thoughts.

I scrolled threw Instagram and then a story from Arya's account popped up.

It was from inside. It was a boomerang of me from behind the floor-to-roof window. I turned around and saw her standing there with her phone and coffee, only wearing my hoodie, which was a dress on her petite body. I loved it when she wore me clothes.

She came out and sat next to me, warming her little body against mine.

"How did you sleep?" I asked her.

"Good, but I think I laid with my face down on the side Max punched, because it's hurting again." She said and took a sip of her coffee.

I hated that Max dude with my whole heart and I would love to throw him a punch.

"I'm hoping it gets better, I don't like seeing you in pain." I told her.

"I'm not in pain, pain was when I miscarried, that was pain, this is nothing compared to that." She said.

"Hm." Was all I answered.

"Do you wish I hadn't miscarried?" Arya looked up at me.

"Well yes I guess so, I mean I was ready I be a dad when we were in London and I was 20 back then. But it's great to have some time alone with you first, it's not like you planned on getting pregnant anyway." I answered.

"Yeah, it was such a surprise I didn't have time to think about the fact that I was pregnant before, I don't know, now. I know we talked about it when we were in Malta, but it finally hit me when I got back home." She said, her eyes tearing up.

"Hun, don't cry, you know we'll have other kids, maybe in a few years when we're actually ready." I whispered onto her head.

"Yeah... think about it: I've been pregnant twice and I'm not even 22." She chuckled at her own statement.

"Yeah, it's crazy..." I said silently.

We sat out for a long while. Arya even fell asleep again, but I didn't mind. she needed the sleep. And she was finally with me again. The last four months before November was a living hell, I cried a lot and I pushed my family away, I was drunk way too much and wrote way too many songs. All of it just because she wasn't there with me.

Arya's phone started to ring and it woke her up, I cursed under my breath, she really needed the sleep, she's having so much trouble sleeping. She's denying it, but I see her, and I see the lack of sleep making har body weaker.

She pushed herself up and grabbed her phone. She didn't pick up, she just stared at it.

"What?" I asked her.

"It's Max..." She said.

I didn't hesitate with grabbing her phone and waking away. She remained in the outdoor couch. I swiped the answer button.

S: What do you want?

M: who is this? Shawn?

S: Yeah, and why do you want to speak to Arya?

M: let me just talk to her-

S: no, if you can't tell me, you'll definitely not getting to speak to her.

M: I just wanted to tell her I'm sorry and that, um that I'm basically better than you and she would be much more happy with me. You know she's afraid of the fame? She's basically afraid of you!

S: you're better than me? How the fuck dare you? And I god damn well know about her fears, we talked about it a lot, after all I am her fiancé. And her real fear is you showing your face again, so be kind to yourself and let my future wife go.

I said and hung up. I walked back to Arya and sat down, putting my arm around her.

"What did he want?"

"To have you back and I said no fucking way." I told her.
"Good, cause you're my fucking soulmate, man." She said and I laughed.

"I love you." I chuckled.

"I love you too."

Days went by and Christmas was over. New Years was nice and we celebrated Sierra's birthday too, which I knew meant a lot to Arya.
Arya and I had been so good lately, we were laughing every day and crying was no longer a part of our routine. But I was still worried for her.
She was still very thin and I felt responsible for it, I know I shouldn't, but how can I not?

Days of happiness became weeks and before we knew it, it was February. Arya was planning all this thing related to the wedding. She was all in for her collection with LV and I loved seeing how she worked with it.

"Make sure you're safe ok?" I said as Arya grabbed her purse.
"Imma be with the girls all night, don't worry, and don't wait up for me, okay?" She said and kissed my cheek.
"Fine, have fun!"
"We will, bye babe!" She said and walked out.

I wasn't very worried for her, but the thought about Max showing up was still there. She was just going out with her ladies, relax Shawn!

I called Aaliyah and she told me about her first, real breakup:

S: I'm so sorry liyah

A: it's okay, he was an ass anyway, but how's Arya?

S: she's good, she's out with her friends right now and to be honest I don't know what to do.

A: so when your girlfriend's gone, you're bored, wow

S: don't blame me! We spend every minute together, every day!

A: no I won't blame you, but hey, I gotta go, talk later?

S: Yeah sure, bye liyah.

A: bye Shawn

She said and we hung up. It was getting late, so I was just going to bed. I slept for about three hours, but then something woke me up. I stood up from bed and walked into the living room. It wasn't anymore there. Probably just a sound from outside that woke me up. I went back to bed and fell asleep.

Then I felt two hands sneak around my waist. I turned around and saw Arya, already asleep next to me.
Now I can sleep peacefully.

Awww so cute ahahahah

Sorry I've been away for a hot minute, but happy easter everyone!! I hope you've had a great week🐣❤️

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