I Guess I'm Sorry [S.M]

Chapter 48

Arya's POV

The caller id said Jack Johnson.

A: Jack, hi.

J: Arya hey, I heard what happened and I'm so so sorry, I wish I never asked you guys to drive me. If I hadn't none of this would have happened. And I'm sorry I'm calling so late, but I figured you might needed some space.

A: thank you so much Jack, and please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. And there will always be a chance for Shawn to wake up...

J: I'm so so sorry... um do you want me to come over?

A: if you want to, you can, but whiskey and me are having a good time alone too.

J: no one should drink alone, I'm coming over.

He said and hung up.

After about 20 minutes, there was a knock on my door. I went over and opened to find Jack. He just walked in and gave me a long hug.

I haven't really been crying at all, but seeing him made me think of the accident again and I finally let the tears flow.

"Hey hey, don't cry." Jack said as we pulled apart.

"No it's okay, come let's sit." I said and led Jack to the couch.

We sat down and talked for a while. And drank some, and laughed some.
After one of our laughs died out, I said seriously:

"They handed me divorce papers today... they do it so the other person can feel free, but I'm not going to divorce him, it's been two freaking weeks!"

"Yeah that was a little crazy, gees." Jack said.

"Jack I have to tell you something, I feel like we can really talk and right now you're the only friend I've let in so... I'm pregnant. And I don't know what to do if Shawn doesn't wake up. There's a big risk for me to miscarry, but if I have the kid or not, I don't think I can handle it." I said, a couple of tears running down my cheeks.

"Hey, you are one of the strongest people I know, of course you can handle it. If you miscarry or not, I will be here for you, and so will your family and all our friends. We love you very much and we will support you through all of this... but you can't drink Arya!" Jack said and took away my glass.

"Does it matter Jack?! I don't know what I should do... maybe I should just have an abortion." I said while I wiped my tears away.

"No, you wanted this, you have wanted this kid since you were 19, don't let the chance slip away."

"I know, but I can't live without him Jack, I just can't... and I can definitely not raise a kid without him, there's no way!" I said, trying to get the glass of whiskey back. I was not ready to have a child without Shawn. No freaking way!

"You absolutely can, and worst case scenario: if he doesn't wake up and you have this kid. It will be the only thing you have left of Shawn... and you don't want to waste that, do you?" Jack said.

"No... but I'm not ready. I just know it. I can't go through with this pregnancy." I said seriously.

"Well, then I will help you through the abortion. You're not alone in this Arya." Jack said, grabbing my hand with his and squeezing it lightly.

"Thank you..." I said silently.

"But I still won't let you drink." He said and took my glass away again. This time I didn't fight him.

We talked for the rest of the night and when we realized how late it was, I tried to get Jack to stay.

"You've been drinking so you can't drive, and cabs are expensive. Please just stay the night. You can have the bed in the guest bedroom."

"But I need to get home you know..." he said looking at me. I just glared at him in return.

"Ugh, Fine, I'll stay." He said and walked towards the guest room.

"Good night Jack."

"Good night Arya."

I went into my bedroom and changed my clothes. I changed into Shawn's hoodie. Well one of them. It smelled like him. God I missed him so much. The pain was unbearable and I don't know how I'm supposed to pull through this.

I didn't have a good night of sleep, I never have when I'm without Shawn, but that is my least problem right now. I stood up from bed and walked to my closet to put some yoga pants on. When I walked out and into the living room, I smelled coffee.

I walked into the kitchen to find Jack by the coffee machine.

"You want some?" He said when he noticed me.

"Yeah, please." I said and grabbed the cup he handed me.

"I think I need to get going, it was very nice to spend the night, and just so you know, I'm here. Just call me, I'm here for you Arya." Jack said and put his cup down.

"Thank you so much for staying. I don't think I want to admit it, but I really need to surround myself with the best people I got. And you are one of them." I said and hugged Jack.

"No problem, stay safe Arya, I'll call you tonight." He said and opened the door.

"Yeah you do that, see you." I said and he closed the door after himself.

Then a tear rolled down my face. I guess it's hard for me to see people leave.

I decided not to go see Shawn today. I am not trying to move on, I just need a routine in my day that isn't too depressing.

I called up Nicki to see if she wanted to hang out. We had talked some over the phone so she knew what was happening with Shawn. And she knew that I was a total mess, both emotionally and physically.

She proposed that we could go for a workout class, and so we did. We went for a soul cycle class, and when we were done we went out for a coffee.

Aw  I didn't like this chapter:/ well enjoy ahahahha

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